“Close the door,” I whisper back.
“Oooooo,” he starts.
I shush him, “Shh, no it’s not that exciting, I just, don’t you think Aiden is being weird?”
“Honey, he was born a billionaire. Heisweird. He can’t help it.”
“No, I mean, well, yes.” I plop down in my seat and pick up my stapler, which hasn’t had staples in it for at least a year, and click it a couple times. “But why is he staying around giving us business advice every morning?”
“To watch you,” Steven answers like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“No! What? Why?”
“Because he’s in love with you and wants you to have a bunch of little red headed babies for him, duh,” he goes off.
“Steven—”
“Hot damn, you guys would have the most beautiful babies.”
“Steven!”
“Can you imagine it? Because we are talking Gerber model babies, here, Harper, he—”
“Steven, you’ve said all this before! Twice!” I cut him off. With the cold, hard truth. He, we,Icannot keep romanticizing relationships. I’ve done it with new female friends, boyfriends…JimBo…
He grimaces, “Sorry. I do get carried away, I know. But seriously, why else would he sit around here? The vibes? I mean it’s a cute shop but…”
“No, you’re right, it’s probably not really his scene,” I admit. “Still, it’s not for me. It can’t be.”
“Why not? Weren’t you guys making out in the NogMobile at karaoke night?”
“What! No!” I shriek. He makes an oops face that I’m positive means he told the whole town that’s exactly what we were doing. I explain, “He’s claustrophobic. I was trying to talk him through it.”
“That isnotwhat it looked like,” Steven says.
“Anywayyyyy, let’s say it is about me, what does he want? Maybe it’s about the coffee? Or the Roasted Chestnut? Maybe he’s opening a chain of bakeries?”
“Yes, Harper, I bet he’s opening a chain of bakeries.”
“You think?”
“No, girl, I think he wants toopen up the bakerif you know what I’m saying!”
“Shhh! Ewww! Why do you say things like that?”
Steven shrugs, “I am a lot. Sorry, not sorry.”
“That’s not going to happen,” I say, meaning it.
“Harp, would it be the worst—”
“Yes!” I stand up from my little desk chair. “It would be the worst thing! I am not available, you know this. Plus, Janie wentoffabout him and all the models in those pics you found online. It is not happening, so don’t encourage him. Don’t spread the gossip or egg on the aunts or Tyrone. It Can. Not. Happen.” I get up and start pacing, “He’s leaving in a matter of weeks. He’ll move on to someone else. I’m just going to avoid him.”
“Someone else?” Steven asks.
“Yes!” I point at him with the stapler, “Great idea. Set him up with someone!”
“Who?”
