I flip the camera back to me to ask, “Why are you bringing this up now?”
“Because, Harp, it’s been what, six whole weeks and you’re still heart-broken over it.”
“I am not!”
Janie points at me, “You are, babe. You’re out there finally figuring out your dreams and goals, spreading your wings, free from JimBo, free from the shop and your dad and the whole town and your smile is still forced.”
“My smile is fun,” I say but my voice wobbles. I correct myself, “Ugh! Fine, my smile isfine.”
“Your smile is beautiful, but it’s not reaching your eyes and that’s the truth. Maybe just unblock him?”
“What! No!”
She shrugs, “Okay, just an idea.”
“I’m finally out on my own, like you said. I’m not going to start my new life all twisted up in my old one.”
“Got it. No more talk of Stuart.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“So, have you mapped out, like, where your grocery store is, nearby stuff to do?”
“I found the perfect flower shop for making my arrangements,” I tell her.
She rolls her eyes, “Like for fun, Harper. A way to meet people, maybe a church or a gym?”
I smile wide and this time I bet it reaches my eyes when I say, “Better.”
“Huh?”
“I shipped my bike here already! Who needs a gym when I can bike the beachfront on my way to and from work every day?”
She laughs, “Only you would find a way to add more work to your work.”
I wave her off and we go on, walking and talking about my new area. Janie makes a new Montauk-specific spreadsheet and I send her photos and pinned locations. Eventually I head back to my short-term rental and make a list of a few things from my room for Lily to bring out here.
I make myself a quick, easy garlic and herb butter chicken dinner in the skillet and go through my night time routine. I research recipes, I write out ideas in a notebook, do some journaling, I check in with Lily or Dad.
Most nights I put on a sweatshirt and go out and stare and the ocean for a while.
And, well, I miss him.
For a few minutes every night, I let myself think about Aiden. About how he could helicopter in and surprise me. About how much Stuart would love running in the sand. About how the billionaire would complain this rental is too small and give me hell for planning to ride my bike everywhere.
Then I say a little prayer for him, and for the dog and the town and everyone I miss, and for my heart to freaking heal already,and I go inside and read the craziest fiction I can find to shut my brain off.
_____
“You’re sure you don’t need anything else?” I ask Janessa again.
“Harper, you’ve been here since 3AM, please go away!” She jokes.
“Well, I know you have both the health inspector and your boss tomorrow so I wanted to be sure,” I say, meaning it. She seems nervous.
“That’s true, but the owner and the D-O-H coming by tomorrow are my problems, not yours. Please, leave and take a nap!”
I shrug, “Alright but I’m coming in early.”
