I thought about what he once told me when we were on the island for that month. He’d said that all his aggression throughout his childhood for the abuse and neglect he’d suffered, the humiliation and taunts from other children, and the lonely ache of missing his mother, he released it in the ring. I saw that tonight. I guessed that was why he was undefeated as well.
Despite the aggression and brutality of the sport, there was also a certain calmness Reighvyn radiated in the ring.Every move was implemented with methodical self-discipline, calculated control, and flawless execution.
After the fight and our initial reunion, he had taken us to Prime Steakhouse in the Bellagio. We had gambled at the casino and enjoyed ourselves until we all staggered back into our rooms at three this morning.
“It’s the most beautiful sunset that I’ve ever seen.”
I turned around at the sound of Reighvyn’s raspy, sleep-ridden voice behind me.
“Good morning,” I greeted with a smile. I had been on the balcony of our hotel suite watching the sun rise and thinking about Reighvyn and me when he joined me.
“Good morning. What are you doing up so early? You’ve been asleep less than four hours,” he stated, folding me into his embrace.
I sighed and relaxed against him, basking in the comfort he gave. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why not?” He wrapped me in his arms.
“I’m still so angry at you, Reigh. This was just like how you gradually disappeared from my life when you dropped out of college. Why didn’t you contact me while you were away? Why did you stop taking my calls?”
I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my face.
“I was wrong, but it was something that I needed to do.”
“You keep saying that, but I don’t understand why. If it wasn’t for Paloma, I would have thought that you’d given up on me. That hurt me, Reigh.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, baby. After I called and told you that I arrived and talking to you those first few days, I knew that I needed some space and time to gather my thoughts and clear my heart.”
“Of what?”
“Mama.”
“Paloma said you went.” I sniffled and wiped my eyes.
“I’ve always avoided seeing her before a fight. I should’ve this time, too, but I needed to face her before moving on with you.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m ready to move on with my life and be happy. I spent years trying to chase an idea in my head, an idea of what my mama would look like healthy and mentally strong. I found so many similarities between her and Daniella that I embraced it. Ella’s distant, nonchalant attitude drew me in. I needed to separate that from my mind and heart this time. I needed to release the idea and accept that Mama is and will always be sick. Letting go of the fantasy was the only way that I could move forward in a healthy manner.
“I needed time to grieve the loss of my ideas about Mama, and I needed to truly grieve the loss of Ella. I spent five years with that woman, thinking that I would change her in time and make her my wife. The entire time I was at camp, I was angry and depressed. I rocked back and forth between the two emotions the whole time I was there. You deserved better than that.”
“I deserved a phone call.”
“You did, baby. I swear that I’ll never do that to you again. Please forgive me and give me a second chance.”
“I’ve already forgiven you, and there’s no need for a second chance, when you never lost the first one. I stayed by your side, and I hung in here because I love and believe in you. When Lo told me that you’d gone to visit your mama before leaving, I kind of thought that was what you were going through, but I wasn’t sure. It would have been nice to have a conversation about it, Reigh.
“I mean, I haven’t forgotten how hard it was when you were living with the Reeds, and your mama would come for supervised visits; it took its toll on you. When you were a littlekid, you would cry endlessly for days after her supervised visits. When we got to middle school, you would always get into fights after her visits. By the time we were in high school, you withdrew from the world and shut everyone out.
“I used to hate whenever y’all had to see her, but in our adult years, I understand that not only is it necessary, but you have to work through your feelings about it. If I can’t be here to help you through that, then at least give me the option to pray for you. Please don’t shut me out again. I don’t want that for us, Reigh.”
He squeezed me, and when he spoke, his voice was thick with emotion.
“I swear that I won’t. God, what did I do to deserve you?”
He released me and stared down into my eyes.
“How did that make you feel—seeing her again?” I asked.
