“That was—” She stops, then turns her head toward me. Something shifts in her expression, more careful now. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
“I didn’t stop when you told me to.”
I know exactly what she means. I felt it too—how far we let it go, how long I stayed there when I should have pulled away.
But she’s already blaming herself. I’m not adding to that.
“No, it’s okay. I get it.” I pause. “We just can’t do that again, Charlotte.”
She goes still.
“We can’t risk a pregnancy. Not now. Not with everything else going on.” I let that sit for a second. “We’re not on the island anymore. We have options. There are ways to prevent it. But until we figure that out, we need to be careful.”
She exhales slowly. “I know. I’m sorry. I was so close and I just…” She shakes her head. “I should’ve stopped.”
“I’m not mad.” I make sure she hears it. “I want you to feel good. I love making you happy. We just have to be smarter about it.”
“You’re right.”
“We’ll figure out birth control together. Work out what makes the most sense for us.”
She nods, holding my gaze. “Together.”
The light behind the drapes is changing, the room gradually brightening.
“I have to go, babe. Staff will be up soon.”
Her hand finds mine on the sheet. “I know.”
I squeeze her fingers before sitting up and reaching for my shirt in the low light.
“We won’t be together today. I’m going to Mum’s to meet—” I pause, still not used to saying it. “Mum’s husband. And my sisters.”
The words still feel strange in my mouth.
“I don’t want to be apart,” she says.
“Charlotte—”
“I get it.” She lets out a breath. “I don’t like it. I don’t breathe right when we’re not together, but I understand.”
“Same for me.” I move closer. “Being away from you makes me…” I shake my head. “Anxious. That’s the closest word I’ve got.”
I take her hands and press a kiss against her knuckles.
“You’re my wife, Charlotte. I meant every word of my vows. I choose you. I’m not leaving you. Being here doesn’t change that.”
She nods.
“When it hits—when you start spiraling—I want you to remember that.”
“Okay.”
I lean forward and press my lips to her forehead.
“I love you.”
