His lips brush my fingers as he accepts my offering, causing us both to groan. Him for the food, and me for him.Fucking hell.
“Told you it was good,” I mumble, as he dabs at his chin with a napkin.
“Never been happier to be wrong.” He lifts his brows and tips his head ever so slightly my way. “But it will be a cold day in hell before I try your pizza order.”
“We’ll see,” I say, pleased when my voice comes out light and teasing, giving away nothing of the mess of emotions swarming inside of me.
I don’t even know ifmessis a strong enough word, because before he wiped his chin, a small part of me was tempted to lean over and lick it off. Which would’ve been utterly unhinged and probably would’ve landed me back at my house, broken down door or not. Yay for self-control, I suppose.
But not acting on it isn’t enough to erase the idea of it. I still thought it. I still wanted to do it, and I’m really not sure what that says about me.
Ellis says friends can cuddle, and while I may not know all that much about having friends, I know that feels like a load of shit. But pretending he’s right—and that friends do, in fact, cuddle—what else do friends do?
Therein lies the problem. I don’t know the answer and I’m terrified to find out. Because something tells me, wherever and whatever that line is… once we cross it, we can never go back.
We literallyjustgot to a good place, to a civil place, and I’m worried I’m only one small move away from tossing a grenade on whatever this is between us and blowing it up.
Fuck. Maybe sleep—and space—will help.
“Wanna watch moreGossip Girl?” he asks as he clears our trash.
I fake a yawn. “I’m actually exhausted and might call it a night.”
He studies me for a long minute and then nods. “Okay. You know where to find me if you need me.”
I push back from the bar and stand. “Thanks Ellis. For everything.”
“Sweet dreams, Scar.” He seems softer as he says it, and it does something to me. Something I’m not sure how I feel about. You know, other than confused.
Obviously being attracted to Ellis has never been the problem, at least not physically. But new and improved sweet Ellis… yeah, I don’t even know.
So, I do what I do best, and shove it down to deal with later. “Yeah, you too.”
I grab some jammies and head into the bathroom, where I fly through my nighttime routine before rushing back to my room.
My heart is racing as I burrow beneath the covers with my e-reader in hand. I scroll the online store, mindlessly swiping, until finally a title catches my eye.
Before I know it, I’m lost in the digital pages of a small-town girl reconnecting with her former love, who just so happens to be a country music superstar now.
I check the clock when I hit the fifty percent mark. “Holy hell, it’s after midnight.” I set my e-reader on the nightstand and roll onto my side, hoping sleep comes easy.
Except, right as I drift off, visions from my house earlier today flash through my mind like a demented highlight reel.
“Fuck,” I groan, picking my book back up.
My eyelids begin to droop after a few chapters, and I try to fall asleep again. But it’s no use. Every single time I’m about to conk out, some horrifying worry lingering along my periphery slams into my brain, startling me awake.
I grab my phone and make a note to buy some melatonin tomorrow because I’m a beast without sleep and the last thing I want is to snap at Ellis—or worse, someone at work on Monday.
The clock creeps past one and I try yet again to fall asleep, but it’s no use. All of the unknown variables keep swirling together creating a maelstrom of anxiety inside of me.
So, I keep reading. I read past the point of exhaustion, until the words blur together and I can no longer physically keep my eyes open for another second.
And then, just before two, sleep finally finds me.
ELLIS
“What was that?” I bolt upright in my bed, glancing around my darkened room. I sit perfectly still as I listen for anything out of the ordinary, but there’s nothing.
