“She doesn’t approve.”
Oh.
“I know it’s not a big deal. I didn’t actually think she would approve, but it just hurt my feelings a little.”
“What did she say?”
A heavy sigh rattles out of her, “It’s ridiculous. She thinks I’m in love with you; I mean, how crazy is that? It’s like she doesn’t know us at all.”
Something in my chest fractures.
I hide the pain, hide the way those words run through me like a damn freight train.
“And she thinks I’m going to get my heart broken when all of this is said and done.”
“I’d never hurt you,” I vow.
“I know,” Sidney softens, “I guess I just wanted her to be excited for me.”
“What do you need me to do?” The ache in my chest is spreading, blooming and seeping into the cracks of my soul. Am I just a fucking idiot? Praying somethingmorehappens for us?
“Nothing,” her eyes clear as she looks at me, “You’re enough.”
God damn it.
Pushing up from the couch, I head through to the kitchen to grab both of us some water. She’s facing the windows away from me, so I take a moment to myself. I press my fist to my mouth and bite down, internally screaming.
The pain is enough to distract me from the one throbbing in my chest.
When I’ve calmed down enough, I return to her, passing her the bottle.
“Can we chill tonight?” She asks me, “Watch a movie and just be us?”
“Anything you want,” I don’t know how she doesn’t hear the strain in my voice, but she beams up at me, pulling a blanket off the back of the couch before she toes off her shoes and curls up under it.
“What should we watch?”
I stare at the darkened ceiling, my whole body entirely too tight. Sidney sleeps in the room opposite me, completely unaware of the turmoil rolling through me like the clouds currently are. A storm is brewing; the deep gray of the sky appearing almost purple, violent. Somewhere in the distance, lightning flashes, brightening my room for just a second before all falls dark again.
I am, for all intents and purposes, a shitty human being and a shitty fucking friend.
Perhaps I should just come clean, lay it all on the table and let her pick. It would be the right thing to do instead of hiding behind false intentions and manipulation. I just can’t let her go. The mere idea physically pains me, and after her words earlier this evening, I can see the rope fraying. How much damage can it take before it snaps in half?
I want Sidney to be happy; more than anything, I want her to have everything she desires, and I know I can be the man who provides that for her. I’ve watched this woman grow; I’ve seen her thrive; I’ve seen her pain, and it’s me who has held her together. I just want her to love me. Love me the way I love her.
Not as friends. But as two people who have been placed on this earth solely for the other.
Because that’s the fact of it. If for no other purpose, I am here for her.
I think I manage a couple of hours of sleep, though it feels like I’m rubbing sandpaper across my eyes when I pry them open with the rising sun the following day. I can hear Sidney in the kitchen, her awful singing voice traveling through the walls, and I feel my mouth pull up into a smile. Throwing off the sheets tangled around my legs, I follow the sound, unable to stop myself from seeking her out. She’s dressed in only my shirt, shimmying her shoulders to music that plays in her ears. She hasn’t realized I’m here yet, not when she’s so focused on making pancakes at the stove, nimble on her feet as she dances through my kitchen, entirely at home and at peace.
I will never tire of looking at her.
Resting my shoulder against the door frame, I track her moves, watching the hem of my shirt swish and whisper against her firm thighs, completely entranced as it rises to show the creases of her ass when she reaches for the plates stacked above the counter. My teeth sink into my bottom lip, palms tingling with the memory of how her body felt in my hands. How soft her skin was, how pliant. I could watch her fall apart over and over, spend an eon on my knees and never grow tired of the way she responds to my touch.
Let it be known—I am down bad for Sidney Summer Adams.
She spins on her toe, catches my eye and jumps about three feet into the air, letting out the chirp that gave her, her nickname.
