Breaking the kiss, I lift to my knees and tug at his pants, demanding he take them off. His hands wrap around my wrists, stopping me from getting them down.
“I don’t have a condom,” his throat works on a swallow.
“I have an implant,” my voice shakes as I talk, “And I—uh — I’m clean. Cal and I didn’t really… I got a full workup last month. I mean, we don’t have to. I know it’s a big thing to do without protection.” I’m rambling, my cheeks burning the longer he looks at me. It’s soft, sweet even, so I’m not sure why panic is coursing through me. I shouldn’t have said anything.
“It’s okay,” I continue, “but let me help you.”
“Juni,” he releases my wrists and gently whispers his fingers up the valley of my breasts, “I want to. But I don’t want to rush you.”
“I want you,” I plead, “Silas, I just want you.”
“Bare?”
I nod slowly.
“Lay down for me,” he commands gently.
Trembling, I move onto the bed and lie down, the urge to cover myself coming over me now that we are not touching. The chill of his absence has my skin pebbling but then he stands up and hooks his fingers into the waist of his pants, tugging them down his legs.
His hard, heavy cock springs free, and he takes it into his hand, wrapping his fingers around the shaft to jerk himself a couple of times before he swipes his thumb over the glistening tip to gather up the bead of precum. I don’t know what it is about him that emboldens me, but he makes me want to do things I never would have done before. Just like right now as I sit up and wrap my hand around his wrist, forcing him to release his dick so I can suck the tip of his thumb. The salty flavor hits my tongue, the taste of him making my mouth water for more.
“Jesus Christ,” he groans, “You’re fucking perfect.”
He presses down on my bottom lip and then climbs onto the bed, lying back against the pillows.
“Come here.”
Loosening a nervous breath, I throw my leg over his thighs, but he stops me from lowering against him.
“You’re in control, Juniper.” He reminds me, eyes holding mine, the sincerity catching me off guard. It hits me right in the chest, warms me through. “You are always in control. I will never hurt you.”
“I know.” I breathe.
“You take what you need from me,” his voice lowers, turning a little rough on the edges as the tips of his fingers twitch against my skin, “Use me, Honeybee. It’s all you.”
He finally releases me, but I don’t lower; instead, I find his mouth, and I kiss him with everything I have, pouring every bit of feeling I can muster.
We won’t have forever, but he asked me for right now, so that is what I am going to give him, and he can have all of me for however long this lasts.
I keep my lips on his as I lower, rolling over his shaft slowly, but then he reaches between us and holds the base of his cock, the head of him nudging at my entrance.
A shiver works through me as I start to lower, but I never once stop the kiss, keeping us joined until he is fully inside of me and only then do I stop to catch my breath.
“You feel so fucking good,” he rasps, breath tickling the side of my throat.
“You’re everywhere,” I shift and revel in the groan that vibrates from his throat. Lifting just a touch, I slide back down him, the stretch part pain, partpleasure, and that groan turns to a whimper. I’m not sure I ever expected a man like Silas to whimper, his head tipping back, the muscles in his throat pulling taut as his hands tighten on my thighs.
“Fuck,” he moans, voice cracking, “More, Honeybee.”
I do it again and again, watching the pleasure on his face, his lips slightly parted and eyes on fire.
Laying my hands on his chest for support, I grind into him, hips moving quicker, spurred on by his pleasure. I want him to feel the way he made me feel; give him back what he gave me.
I’m never going to want to stop falling into him; I just need to protect my heart.
It’s delicate and won’t survive another break.
Chapter Twenty-four
