My sister is one of those trend-setter types who was always the first to try anything among her friend group. A clothes horse who’d try anything once as long as it looked good on her- that was until she met her husband, who makes Julius’ crazy look like child’s play.
I don’t think she’s worn a mini skirt in ages, and things only seem to have gotten worse since she had the baby. If my dress was sackcloth, then hers was a gunny sack. “Hello pot, meet kettle.” I rolled my eyes at her and rushed to wash my hands so I could hog the baby.
I ignored their questioning looks and focused all of my attention on the cute little bundle until they started teasing me about wedding bells and diapers. “Where do you people get these ideas from? Who says anything about getting married? I’m just playing with him until I get bored.”
My face turned bright red, and I tried to hide it in the baby’s neck while they both burst out laughing. The knowing look that passed between them made the hairs on my nape stand up. My eyes fell on the magazines on the table in front of them, and my heart filled with suspicion. “What were you two doing before I came in?”
They didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed when I pinned them with a threatening look. Instead, she lifted the bridal magazine, opened to a behemoth of a gown that looked like something out of an old European castle. “Which little princess is getting married?”
I asked, though I had a sneaky suspicion just who it was. “Why are you looking at wedding dresses for me?” I started backing away from the table with the baby still clutched in my arms like a shield. “Don’t get nervous, love. We know how you feel about such things, so we’ll handle it for you.”
“What’re you talking about? Handle what for me?” Another knowing look passed between them, and then Mom’s phone rang. It was a video call, and Mrs. Blair was on the other end. From the sounds of it, these crazy women were planning mine and Julius’ wedding.
My mouth opened and closed, but there were no words. Then I heard his mom say he wanted it done in no less than three months, and my head began to spin. What the hell is going on? Did anybody ask me?
I stood there rooted to the spot as my own mother sold me out. “Come and sit down, hon.” She offered once she hung up the phone, and I walked towards her like one of my earlier robot prototypes. Slow and uncertain of the world around me. Has everyone gone mad?
“There’s no need to panic; we’ve all been waiting for this day.”
“All? Who, what day?” If Mom even hints that she knew how I felt about Julius all these years, I’m moving out of state and changing my name. My traitor of a sister just nodded her head with an indulgent smile on her face as she patted the seat between them.
I could smell Julius’ influence all over this shit. Just what the hell has he been up to in the short time since I left him? No, this looked too well thought out to be a shot in the pan kind of operation. I have to watch myself with these people, or I’d be married with six kids before I know what hit me.
“Your father and I are very pleased with your choice.” Mom ran her hand over my hair as she used to when I was a kid,seeking comfort. “No, no…” I looked for an escape route, and my heart started racing sickeningly in my chest at her words.
“Mom…” What was it that I wanted to say? I couldn’t remember. This was moving too fast even for them. How come they never pushed me to get married when I was with Dale? I’d spent a couple of nights at Julius’ place, and they were already giving me away. What the hell is so different?
“I know, sweetheart. I’ve always known.” It was the look in her eyes more than her words that made me want to bolt. How could she know? “Does Dad…?” I couldn’t bring myself to say the words around the lump in my throat. She nodded and stroked my hair with a smile. I, on the other hand, felt like I had fallen down the rabbit hole.
I felt exposed, like I needed to hide, so I plopped the baby back in my sister’s arms and made a run for it, back out the door with the two of them calling after me.
JULIUS
I rushedhome like a bat out of hell after getting the call. I left a shit ton of work on my desk, but it didn’t matter. Her Mom said she’d looked spooked when she ran, and if the tracker hadn’t shown that she’d headed back to my place, I might’ve lost it. I warned them not to show their hands too soon, but I guess there was no point in crying over spilled milk.
I slammed out of the barely stopped car and bounded up the stairs, headed for my room. She was in there, buried under the covers, her face hidden from me. “Does your family know too?”She pulled the covers down from her face and glared at me, her eyes spitting fire. I didn’t need to ask what she meant; I just nodded my head as I walked towards her.
She went back to hiding, and I almost laughed, but now was not the time. If I’m not mistaken, there were fear and tears in her eyes when she looked at me just now. I kicked off my shoes and climbed onto the bed with her. I guess this talk was long overdue.
JESSICA
I’m not sure why I thought of coming back here after making my escape, but that’s where my feet led me. The panic I felt was nothing short of astronomical. How did they know? When did they know? My sister, I could understand, but Mom? And everyone else? I thought I’d done such a good job hiding it all these years; now I feel like a fool.
No wonder Dad didn’t make a fuss about me being here, and my brother was more than willing to give me away; they’ve always seen right through my pretended dislike of him. My heart was still thumping away in my chest, and I felt even worse because I’d just run past his Mom with a hurried hello before hiding in here.
She probably thinks I’m an ill-mannered pig and will complain to her son as soon as he walks through the door. I looked around the room for some place to hide since there was no way I was heading back downstairs now.
Why am I so flustered? Nothing else has ever made me react this way. Why do I still have so much fear and unease where the two of us are concerned? I’d long come to terms with the facts. He’d made his stance pretty clear that night back then, andno matter what was said now, that was the only truth I’d ever believe.
He saw me as nothing more than a spoilt little kid who was always underfoot. He’d only slept with me because he was drunk and I threw myself at him; that was the truth. Only he knows why he’d given in this time and brought me here. The question of why I’d stayed is something I don’t want to look too closely at just yet, but I haven’t lost my mind enough to trust that this was some sort of happily ever after and forever situation.
I admit that it’s still hard for me after all these years and the distance I’d forcefully put between us for me to resist him. It had been the same that long ago night too. Even though I knew he hated me and had seen the look of disdain on his face when he took me to bed, something inside of me couldn’t help but go along with it.
I’d convinced myself that it was nothing more than the fulfillment of a silly girlish dream; that was all. I had to do that to stop the bleeding of my broken heart back then, or I might not have survived. The pain of that heartache is something I never want to endure again as long as I live.
So, I’d swallowed everything, put that night behind me, although it almost killed me to reach that point, and moved on with my life. Mom’s words had ripped the proverbial Band-Aid off that wound, had exposed it to the light once more, and all my hard work was in vain.
I never wanted them to know, never wanted them to see that side of me, that weak, lovesick fool who had gambled and lost. But there was also something else behind that, I never wanted them or anyone else to see him in a bad light. Isn’t that just silly?
