I spot Blesk by the far wall, chatting with Jax. She sees me, and her smile drops into shock. I blink. Suddenly her arm is around mine, and we’re stumbling back out the door.
Cool air hits me and my stomach churns. We slump onto the front steps, the party rages behind us, people flitter around us.
She sets her hand on my thigh. “You okay?”
I lean forward onto my knees. “That snuck up on me.”
“It didn’t.” She rubs small circles on my leg. “You’ve been drinking really fast.”
I rub my eyes until I see white. “I keep thinking about his hands... and yours. Together. Then his mouth... and yours.” I groan. “Fuck, I hate him.”
“I’ve kissed boys, Konnor. I’m an adult.”
“How many boys?” I comb my fingers through my hair before looking at her. “Hit me with the digit.”
I don’t want to know...
Yes, I do. No, I don’t.
She sighs, her warm breath pluming the crisp air. “Um…” She thinks. “Six.”
“Six dead fuckers.”
She giggles.
“Six, but not me.”
Silence settles between us as I lose focus on the pavement, shuffling the loose pieces of gravel with my sneakers. I’m glad I can’t see her face right now, because she’s probably disappointed. If I see even a glimpse of hurt in her eyes because of me,I'll rip my head off. And I need my head. Despite my lack of knowing how to use it sometimes.
I look across at her. “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry for not being cooler, calmer, more collected. That’s not me.
Her lips curve into a slow smile as she asks, “Do you want to kiss me, Konnor?”
I hold my breath, then let it rush out. “God,yes.”
Leaning in, her breath feathers my lips, and the scent of her perfume, daisies, floods my senses—I don’t question how I know that it’s daisies and not another flower. “Like this?” she whispers. “Now? On these steps?”
I sit up, slide a hand to the nape of her neck, and guide her until our lips hover together, gently teasing. She gasps. My cock twitches. Our lips brush again, soft flutters of breath cascading between us. She waits.
I want to kiss her, hard.
But will I remember it?
Fuck.
Fingers entwined, I pull back, and she exhales hard. Standing, I steady us both, swaying slightly. She catches my waist and laughs. “Even drunk, you’re bossy.”
We stumble, jog, stagger, across the field opposite the hall. Cold air bites at me, so I shrug off my jacket and wrap it around her bare shoulders. Then I collapse onto the grass with a loud sigh and pull her down beside me.
She leans in.
It’s so easy.
And hard.
Somehow…
“I’m not used to feeling jealous,” I admit, trying to explain that shitty behaviour. “If a girl doesn’t want me, I move on.” I flash a smirk. “Not that it’s everhappened.”
