Then I go and unpack.
CHAPTER TWO
konnor
I watch her breathe through parted lips with her blonde hair fanned across my pillow. Pemberton is beautiful when unconscious. When she’s like this, I can almost convince myself. Almost. Then she shifts and makes a small sound, and something in me braces for her to wake up and open her mouth and ruin it.
I wish I could love her.
I wish she wasn’t such a bitch.
When I am inside her, it’s hard to tell if she loves me or hates me. Our sex is aggressive and angry and wild. On tap, too. Which works. Maybe she loves me; in her own way.
I like her eyes, her hair—I’ve always been a sucker for blondes. But when I run my fingers through it now, an ache moves through me.
I reach out and touch her cheek, searching her face for that feeling. What is that feeling? Hope? Warmth? Nervous and excited at the same time. Instead, my mind drifts to a different face, one without definition—a blank canvas circled ingold—that still pulls that beating thing in my chest harder than anything real and right in front of me.
Fuck.My hand won’t stop trembling, so I pull it away from her face. Two hours without a drink and reality comes in too sharp—every sound amplified, every light obnoxiously bright. I can’t stop fixating on the golden strands splayed across my pillow, my mind looping, and there’s only one solution for this and it’s waiting in the kitchen.
I roll off the mattress, trying not to disturb the mean, hot, beautiful woman snoring sweetly on my bed. Lazily sliding my boxers up, I wander to the bar fridge.
My parents leased the apartment for me—their attempt to force adulthood on me since I’m assisting with the freshmen this year. They believeleadershipwill round out my extracurriculars—which currently consist of drinking—and impress any rugby scouts asking about me. I haven’t always had the best reputation with, well, responsibilities.
So, the apartment is walking distance to campus, but not on campus. It’s swanky enough that Pemberton practically lives here now instead of her dorm. She gets the luxury she craves; I get to fuck her whenever I want.
A mutually beneficial arrangement.
After making myself a drink, I meander into the bathroom, ignoring my reflection. My clothes come off, the faucet comes on, and I step into the steamy glass shower.
I take a swig of my Jack on the rocks before placing it on the tiled ledge beside me. The combination of Jack and the water coming down hard and warm on my head works like a charm. I lean my head forward against the tiles, letting the water run down my hair and face.
One thing Pemberton and I have in common is our love of daytime naps. I sleep a lot. I drink to feel normal. I sleep a lot because I drink to feel normal. Rinse and repeat.Which is why, at 6:30 p.m. on a Tuesday night, I’m just surfacing, whereas Erik and Jax are already at The Grill, waiting for us.
“Konnor!”
I lift my head from the tiles at the sound of Pemberton’s harsh voice. “You have a letter from the dean!”
“Okay,” I reply and lather myself with shower gel. “Just leave it on the table.”
As I bend down to wash my legs, my calves burn. I need to go back to the gym; rugby practice was harder yesterday than it’s been in years.
I finish off my drink and rinse the suds from my body, hoping Pemberton will surprise me by joining me. She won’t, though. She never does; she can’t wear makeup in the shower. She looks beautiful without it, but that just isn’t her style, and who am I to tell her what to wear?
Wait.
Why is she going through my mail?
I turn off the shower and stroll into the kitchen, water rushing down my legs to the tiles as I give myself a half-arsed rub down with a towel.
“Where is it?” I ask.
Pemberton is sitting at the dining room table, her long bare legs poking out from underneath it. She’s wearing my favourite jersey, and from this angle, I can tell she isn’t wearing any underwear.
Nice.
My gaze is quickly redirected when I notice the letter open in front of her. “What the fuck? You opened my mail?” I frown. “Since when do you open my mail?”
“Don’t talk to me like that!” she hisses, eyes narrowing into slits. Just like that, her beauty vanishes. It happens so often. “Do you need another drink or something?”
