The try line.
My eyes dart around, checking the incoming flesh traffic. Running, I dodge and swerve, jumping over the dickhead who crashes to the ground in front of me, opening up the field for a clear run. My feet thud the ground. I am there. Plenty of time. Giving the crowd a shit-eating-grin, I dive, driving the ball into the grass.
Try, bitches!
“What a game, hey? Too bad they didn’t put me in earlier,” I say, stuffing some gear inside my locker. Despite showering and the scent of bleach inking the air, I usually leave this room feeling like I need another shower.
A small scoff escapes Jax.
Turning to face him, I say, “What’s wrong with you?”
He huffs. “A lot.”
Right…I haven’t really explained the whole Erik’s face my fist thing, but we don’t talk about these things. We just accept silence and move on. That’s us. We don’t need to talk… Do we? Maybe an acknowledgment is enough?
I wander over to him and place my hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, man.”
He tenses, frowning at me. “That was fucked up.” He slams his locker shut. “You nearly killed him.”
I sigh hard. He’s right. All I can think is too bad I didn’t. I don’t say that. “That layer of fucked up is just the icing on top of a layered cake of fucked up. Trust me.”
He looks at the ground, shaking his head angrily. “See, that’s the thing, isn’t it? You’re not gonna tell me. Just like everything else that goes on with you. You’re not gonna explain or let me in.”
I’m taken aback.
He wants me to let him in?
All I can do is offer him a tight smile. “It isn’t just mine to tell. Can you understand that? I mean, mate, I get it, you deserve to know something, but I can’t tell you without Blesk’s permission. This is her?—"
“You called her a different name and she freaked out!”
Yeah… about that… Fuck.
I blow out hard. “Yeah, because we used to know each other, as kids, and I lost her, but..." I pause. How the fuck do I say this? “Now I've found her. Her name was Liz then.”
Shaking his head, he stares at me as if he doesn’t recognise me. “Is that all you can give me? I just saw my best mate nearly kill my other mate, then get handcuffed and released all in one fucking afternoon. Not to mention the fact Elise had to witness that.”
I nod.He’s right. “Yeah. I know.”
“And Erik? Was he doing what I thought he was doing when we got down there?”
“Erik can go to hell,” I snap. “I swear if you knew what he was doing, you might not have pulled me off him.”
His frown deepens. “I still would have, Slater. Even if it was just to stop you from going to jail.”
Well fuck.
“Just..." I pause, glancing to the side as another lad enters the locker room. I lower my voice. “Trust me?”
Jax sighs hard, also noting the spectator who is now tying his shoelaces at the bench beside us. “Beer tonight?”
“I have to get Blesk. I have a few things planned, but maybe we will come by the hall after.” After every home game, we host a postgame piss-up. We didn’t win—had I been on field for the whole game I'm sure we would have—still, it’s our job to host the party. I’ve never missed one—or any socially approved excessive drinking occasion—but Blesk is my number one priority… whether she likes it or not.
Maybe I should go.For Jax…
Slinging my sports bag over my shoulders, I look at him, wanting to say more. I want to squeeze his shoulder or tap him on the back, but I don’t. A feeling of appreciation and regret moves through me. “I wasn’t going to come by the party tonight, but I will. We’ll have a beer. I’m still me.”
“Yeah,” he says through a curt scoff, and I can almost hear the underlying, ‘I don’t think I know who you are.’
