But not for long.
I can pick out the players straight away. A few of the boys are positioning themselves beside her.
“Hey,” one says.
“Hey.” She gives him a shy half-smile.
I want to tell her that won’t help. That any smile from her lips will only spur these arseholes on—can’t exactly blame them. She is… perfect.
“Right-o.” Chairs are still gliding across the floor as I drop my bag on the desk. “My friends call me Slater, so you can call me Konnor.” A few students chuckle. “Icebreaker. Raise your hand if you want to sleep with someone in this room?”
Giggles precede awkward glances, but no hands rise.
“Have a good look around.” I tuck my hands into my pockets and lean on my heels, rock slightly and wait. “Does this help?” I raise my hand. More chuckles. Most of the lads point a single finger in the air, too cool to raise their hands, while a few girls let their hands peek in the air.
Then Blesk.
Daring—
That hand best be for me.
“So about eighty percent of you want to have sex with someone in this room. Put a pin in that feeling. I was a first-year student only four years ago, I know what it is like, but don’t make me embarrass any of you by calling it out, and I will. I’m an easy guy to deal with. I’m just here to guide you through the text.” I pace back and forth in front of them, finding it easier to talk when I’m on the move. “One of the most important things to remember about this class is that I’m not a music major. I am a PhD student in Education. You probably know more than I do about general music theory. I’m here to help you work through what your lecturer wants you to know. She teaches.” I halt in the centre of the room and smirk. “I’m just a peer with the answers to your tests.”
For the next twenty minutes, I review the course outline, what is expected, and how the marks are broken up. My students vary in age and attitude, but most of them seem eager and interested in what I have to say. And I want them all to succeed—it looks good for me if they do—even the dickheads eyeball-fucking Blesk.
I try not to look at her, but I can’t stop myself. She sits at the edge of her chair, fingers fidgeting with a pen, eyes focused intently on the sheets in front of her.
“Right.” I click to a new slide, explaining the first assignment so I can get this part over with so I can speak to Blesk. “You’ll need to choose a piece of music and analyse how it makes you feel. Not technically, but emotionally.”
A hand shoots up from a guy in the back. “So we just write about our feelings?”
“Pretty much, but it’s not a diary entry. It’s academic.” I glance at Blesk again. She’s scribbling notes, her blonde ponytail swaying behind her. “Music affects us all differently.” I stop at Blesk’s chair. “Miss Bellamy.”
Her eyes lift to me, widening on my face.
“Do you mind if I pull you away for a moment?”
She blinks, then nods. “Ah, yes, of course.”
I hold my hand out, and she goes ahead of me, smoothing her shirt-dress down her stomach as she goes.
Once outside, I close the door behind us and wait with my back to her, mind churning with what to say, how to make it right…
She giggles softly. “Did you just pull rank on me for personal reasons, Mr Slater?”
I turn to face her. “Blesk, I’m so sorry.” It comes out before I can think about it.Fuck.
She sucks a sharp breath in. “Konnor, you don’t owe me anything. You don’t need?—"
“I told her to leave.” I don’t recognise my voice, but I need her to know that I feel as though I do owe her. “Right after you left.” I take two steps towards her when she lowers her gaze to the ground between us. “I couldn’t do that in front of you. I know I’m a dickhead, but I couldn’t embarrass her like that. I ended it.” I wait, expecting something. Fireworks? A smile? Did I expect her to just fall into my arms? I step towards her again. “I ended it. It wasn’t love; it wasn’t evenlike. But I still owed her a private moment at the end. I’m sorry. I just need you to know that wasn’t me. Not normally. It was a bad day, and I drank too much.”
“Konnor.” Her eyes find mine again, and a small smile touches her lips. “It’s okay. Thank you, but it’s okay.”
Thank you?
I ended it.
For you, Blesk.
