‘I can’t say I’m surprised. And I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.’
Rachel slumped and put her head face-down on the table, reappearing a moment later covered in crumbs. ‘YouknewI had feelings for him? How did I miss this?’
‘It’s been hiding in plain sight, I guess.’ Anna licked a finger and wiped a smear of melted chocolate off Rachel’s forehead. ‘I don’t know what’s happened between you, but apparently he came home in a mess on Saturday, then announced he was going off to Belfast for three weeks. Some last-minute work secondment or something.’
‘When does he leave?’ Rachel demanded, half out of her chair before she’d completed the question. She couldn’t let him go without talking to him – without telling him she was sorry … Without telling him how she’d (finally) realised she felt.
Anna looked up at her sadly.
‘He flew out first thing this morning.’
July
New Year’sOngoing resolutions
1. Consider exercise an act with actual benefits – both mental and physical – not merely grim punishment for pizzas consumed.Have a proper go atContinue letting Greg drag me to yoga.provided he refrains from making snide comments re Jack/me and Jack.Give up trying to control subject matter discussed over dinner.
2.Also re-downloadComplete Couch to 5K running app andactually do the programme.Keep running at least twice per week.–alwaysbeing careful not to perv on anyone improper.
3. Apply for promotion at work at first chance. Move to bigger account and try to get pay rise. Avoid, if possible, further projects concerning dog biscuits, disinfectant, high-quality printer ink cartridges, ‘miracle’ grass seed, organic vegetables, etc.
3a. Try to hang on to job (and temper) despite idiocy of gossipy colleagues.presence of evil ex-boyfriendhideousnesscontrol-freakery of certain clients.
3b. Ignore everyone who keeps banging on about how fit he Jack is.
3c. Ignore how fit he is.
3d. Ignore the fact he keeps trying to be friendly/nice/possibly quite flirtatious is openly trying to shag me.
3e. Ignore the fact he is getting divorced.
4. DO NOT agree to further dates with Laurence. Remember: it’s no use having a boyfriend who is good on paper if you do not actually fancy him.
4. Forget that Laurence even EXISTS (despite usefulness of overblown ‘romantic’ gestures for creating illusion of deeply devoted boyfriend. Try not to spin any more tales re ‘boyfriend’ though – don’t want story to get too complicated … ) – situation is already quite complicated enough.
5. Try to remember Mum means well, even during phone calls where she implies I am doomed to a lonely life of penury because I am thirty with no partner, hardly any savings and no mortgage insists on talking about the babies/breasts of people I went to school with.
6. HOWEVER,do not(!!!) speak to Mum when suffering PMT. Set phone alerts for likely spells based on period tracker intel.
7. Try to address ‘hardly any savings’ situation.(If promoted, set aside extra earnings for future house deposit instead of spaffing it all on ASOS.)(Do not spend entire pay rise on ‘cheer up’ treats to distract from heinous ex-boyfriend mess.) hot new outfits for work – see 3c.)
8. Try to eat my five-a-day. (Remember horrid rule that potatoes do not count.)
9.Start using proper night cream with retinol.SERIOUSLY.Regularly apply retinol cream purchased from Boots in pursuit of perfect, Dev-style skin.
10.Do the best possible job helping Tom with exhibition. Be supportive and discreet re Oscar. Avoid arguing with Tom about Jack.Sort things out with Tom somehow.
11. Be a good friend (and bridesmaid) to Anna.Help with wedding organisation and keep selfish, sad worries about how much I’ll miss her to myself.
12. Find a way to end fake boyfriend pretence before it causes any more problems.
30
As Greg had predicted, Jack didn’t come into work the next day, or the day after that. Rachel knew that stories about them were still swirling around the office; every time she walked into the kitchen it went eerily quiet, and if she was a moment late to a meeting her entrance was typically accompanied by a sudden, uncomfortable hush.
Somehow, though, it had got through to a few of her colleagues that the situation was more complicated than initial reports implied – that Rachel wasn’t some formerly scorned woman out to steal back her married ex-lover during a rough patch in his relationship. While she was sure he’d said nothing to break her confidence, Rachel assumed she had Greg to thank for this.
When she arrived at the office early on Thursday, she was shocked – yet not surprised – to see Jack at his desk. She looked at him without flinching, taking in his tousled chestnut hair, razor-sharp bone structure and bright, dancing eyes.
