“No residual feelings?” he asked his follow-up question, knowing the answer but needing to make sure. “Not even a flicker?”
She smiled. “None, I am very over him. I’m even over everyone thinking he created the dance that went viral. I don’t care anymore. I’ll create something bigger and better, maybe even inspired by you.”
The sparks she ignited now glowed brightly and warmed him from tip to toe. “You can create anything you want, just don’t expect me to dance it with you.”
She laughed. “Oh, trust me. That’s a hard no from me.”
Oof. Right in the ego.
Wren lifted her legs, bent them, wrapped her arms around them, and rested her chin on her knee. “I know I was demanding the other night.” Right, she was diving straight in. He could too.
“I’m sorry,” she continued. “In my defense, I didn’t know what to do or say. I’ll do better next time.”
He rubbed his jaw. “And next time I’ll take however much time you need to explain what’s happening, what I expect, and how long I’ll anticipate being away. I won’t go until you feel utterly secure. In me and in us.”
The smile she gave him was full of gratitude. And trust. She believed he would do as he said, and that was … well, that waseverything.
Dane wanted to hold her, but he knew there was more to say. “I heard your conversation with your dad today, Wren.” He saw her surprise and explained how he’d been trying to approach her at the time. “After listening, I now understand why my rushing out, without explanation, would trigger you. I won’t do that again.”
Wren wrinkled her nose. “I feel better for confronting him, but I can’t promise that I’ll always be the model of understanding when you have to leave.”
“I can’t promise to always get it right either, but I promise I will always try.” Needing to touch her, he picked up her hand and linked their fingers. “Besides, I promised Luna that I’ll always put you first. If I don’t, she’ll order the H-Town coven to hex me.”
Wren smiled. “Luna’s understanding of the witches’ code, ‘first, do no harm,’ is fluid, at best.” She ran her index finger over his wrist. Her eyes turned serious, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “Talking about Luna, what was that about you being H-Town’s new doctor? And why aren’t you really on your way to Kashmir, Dane? Don’t they need you?”
He thought about how to answer, knowing how consequential his words would be, aware of his emotional armor dismantling. He no longer needed it, not with her. “Humanatus has a roster of surgeons, and someone from the other teams can fill in for me. I’ve filled in for my colleagues when life happened.”
“And is that what happened to you? Life?”
“No,youhappened.” Dane met her eyes. It was time to get real. “I came to H-Town needing to regroup, burned out, and a little overwhelmed. I needed to recharge, to get a grip on my mild PTSD symptoms, to rebuild my defenses so that I could go back to being the slightly robotic workaholic I’ve been for the past ten years.” He looked for words, picking up some, discarding others, before mentally shrugging. He didn’t need to find the perfect phrase; he just needed to be authentic. “My identity, my value, how I saw myself, how my father saw me, have always been tied up in how I perform, what I do, how I do it. I wasn’t able to be the super soldier my father wanted, but I believe I serve, in my own, completely-unacceptable-to-him way.”
Wren frowned, her nose wrinkling. “Of course you serve,” she insisted, conviction coating her words.
He smiled slightly. “But here, in H-Town, I’ve made friends, I’ve had fun, I fell deeply in love, and none of it is related to my work. No one judges me on what I do.”
“Or don’t do,” Wren stated. Amusement flashed in her eyes. “But let’s be clear, I absolutely judge your inability to dance.”
“And I absolutely judge your inability to perform a pericardiocentesis.”
“You win,” she retorted, smiling. Dane knew she was teasing him to lighten his tension. His fingers wrapped around her ankle, needing to anchor himself. He wasn’t done, they weren’t done … not yet. “Being judged on who I am and not what I do has been … different.”
“Good different or bad different?”
“Just different, different.” He rubbed his thumb over the dip next to her ankle. “This is the first time I’ve put myself and my happiness first. Instead of running into chaos, I consciously chose to stay behind, to fight for you, and for us.”
Wren scooted closer to him and sat facing him, her thigh against his. “Why did you do that, Dane?”
“Full disclosure. Partly because I don’t think I am, mentally, completely ready to go back. I need a little more time.” As he expected, there was no judgement from Wren. She simply nodded, understanding.
He lifted his hand and cradled her cheek in his big palm. “But mostly because I am so in love with you. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Because without you, not much makes sense.”
“I love you, too.” He reached for her, but she put her hand up and shook her head. Her eyes were moist with emotion, but still curious. “I’m loving all of this and am so excited for the future, but you still haven’t explained why Luna thinks you are coming to work as H-Town’s doctor.”
“Ah, that.” He dropped his forehead to hers, his hand moving to her hip. “We all agree Dr. Morris needs to retire, right?”
She nodded.
“I need more time to work through my PTSD and burnout, and taking it slow as a country doctor, doing some ER work, might help me get back to where I was, who I was, quicker and in a healthier way. I also think you and I need time, proper time, to be together, to cement what we have.”
