‘I need to be somewhere else right now.’ Finn’s voice was flat, the usual lightness absent from his tone. My heart ached: this was all my fault. If I’d just drawn lines earlier, if I’d just listened to my heart instead of trying to find a middle ground that wouldn’t hurt anyone, then perhaps we wouldn’t be here.
But here we were.
The once-beautiful guitar shimmering in his hand, Finn hurried over the sodden front lawn and across the road that would take him down to the promenade. His shadow was long and forlorn in the moonglow, and I couldn’t help but feel that it was trying to escape.
Out of habit, I started after him, but Noah gently caught my arm.
‘Let him go,’ said Noah. ‘He needs time to figure himself out.’
But I could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn’t speaking the whole truth. He was worried that if I went after Finn, Finn would ply me with his charms, and we’d be back right where we’d been just hours ago.
I exhaled slowly. I hadn’t just hurt Finn. I’d hurt Noah as well. How could I expect him to believe that I’d chosen him, and him alone, after the past few weeks? While nothing had happened between Finn and me, not truly, we’d spent more time together than usual this summer, and I knew that Finn had feelings for me.
It was going to take time to rebuild Noah’s trust. But how?
‘I need to explain,’ I told him, putting my hand over his. ‘But I’ll be back. I promise.’
Noah relented, but as I followed after Finn, I sensed a flicker of magic behind me.
Turning back, I saw that Noah had traced a heart in the sky. Our initials floated within it, just like the ones on the Heart Tree.
Noah’s smile flashed against the hurricane lanterns that glowed softly in the night, and suddenly my heart felt whole. This particular love story was going to have a happily ever after.
But first, I owed someone I loved dearly an explanation.
Chapter 33
LOVE HEALS ALL
I found Finn down on the beach, in his favourite spot near the tide pools, folded around his cracked guitar. With the storm having subsided, the sky had twisted from its evening magenta to a deep purple, and it was threaded with nervous stars. They’d grow bolder and more assured over the night, though, the way I had these past few weeks.
‘Hey,’ I said, as gently as I could manage. It had been a cruel night for him. One that he hadn’t deserved. Finn was a good person, and he loved deeply, extravagantly. I’d been so flattered by his attentions that I’d fed them, tricking him into thinking that there was something between us.
But it wasn’t that, exactly. Therewassomething between us. Just not in the way there was between Noah and me. There was a deep, abiding love that had grown over the years that we’d spent together, and all the Summerweens we’d shared. But it was a love that couldn’t be a romantic love – because if it became that, it would blow up in an extraordinary way, and there’d be simply nothing left.
Finn and I weren’t balanced the way that Noah and I were. We’d have fun together, sure, but the kind of fun that would end in bad decisions and hurt, and probably our faces on a Wanted poster. It would end in resentment and cutting each other out of our lives, and that was no way to be.
This couldn’t be the last Summerween. I wouldn’t let it be.
‘I’m sorry, Molly,’ he said eventually.
The moon, high and haughty, gleamed off his stubbled jaw, which was tensed in thought.
‘No, I am. I’ve been indecisive. Cruel and thoughtless.’
He smiled grimly as he turned to me, setting the guitar down in the sand next to him. ‘Well, we’re each as bad as each other. Noah was right. You can’t just fast forward through grief. And you can’t just blot it out with fun. Or even passion.’
He sighed. The waves went in and out, quiet and thoughtful, as he traced swirls in the damp sand. Somewhere off in the distance, an owl greeted the night with its poignant song.
‘I wish you’d chosen me. But I can’t force you to feel differently. And honestly … your decision is probably for the best. Even by my standards I’m kind of a wreck right now. I’m not in a place to be anything for anyone. Not even with you.’
Finn leaned his head against my shoulder. But not in a romantic way – in the way he always had, for years. It was a gesture I’d missed. I smiled down at him.
‘We’re all just figuring it out,’ I said gently. ‘There’s no one right way to grieve, you know. Noah isn’t doing it any better than you are. He’s just doing it differently.’
Finn’s eyes twinkled. ‘Less publicly.’
‘Well, yeah.’ I couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I don’t see Noah standing on top of the boardwalk railing shoutingI am the Summerween Kingany time soon.’
