‘Well, all the more reason for an adventure. Look, life’s too short not to leap at opportunities. Wasn’t it you who said you should seize the day?’
‘Yes, but that’s meant for others. Not me.’ Clara laughed, realising the irony.
The number of times she had bravely stood motivating the congregation to live their best lives and fear nothing under God’s will, and now she had a chance to take a different course in life she felt utterly terrified.
‘Is that all that’s holding you back? Nothing else?’ Eleanora gave Clara a knowing look. They had been best friends for far too long for Clara to be able to pull the wool over her eyes.
‘Well, go on. Spit it out...’
Clara let out a big sigh. ‘Oh, what am I going to do? Things were going so well with Tom, but it feels like there is something about him that he’s holding back. I don’t know quite what it is. When we’re together, he makes me feel like the only woman in the world. I’ve never known a man to make me feel so special. Goodness, I know that might sound corny but he does. He looks at me as though I’m beautiful.’
‘So he should do. You are beautiful, Clara.’
‘Oh, I’ve never exactly been beautiful in the traditional sense of the word. Far from it. I hardly conform to the beauty expectations you see in the magazines.’
‘That’s what makes you so beautiful. That smile of yours lights up a room.’
‘Oh, I don’t know...’
‘Yes, I do know. I wish you saw what everyone else sees in you. How many times do I have to tell you?’
‘I never found a partner to love me though, did I?’
‘That’s only because you were far too good for most men.’
‘I don’t know about that. But, with Tom, it feels different. I really wanted to give it a go and now after living my whole life in Oxford, I have a job interview that could potentially take me away from here and, well, Tom’s also kind of disappeared.’
‘Disappeared? You still haven’t heard from him? Didn’t he tell you why he didn’t show up?’
‘No, he just said that “something came up”. He isn’t even responding to my messages at the moment.’
‘Well, all the more reason to go for this interview.’
Clara nodded and pulled her phone from her handbag one more time. Her messages were still left on read.
‘It is rather strange that he didn’t turn up yesterday. I was so looking forward to seeing him,’ said Eleanora.
‘What if his phone was stolen, Nora? The messages are being read.’
‘Even if his phone had been stolen, I’m sure he would have turned up yesterday to explain.’
‘What if he’s been attacked for his phone?’
‘I’m sure it would have been on the local news if something like that had happened,’ Eleanora reassured her.
‘Yeah, you’re right. He’ll respond soon; I know he will. I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.’
‘Yes, I’m sure Tom will show up soon,’ said Eleanora cradling her drink. ‘But in the meantime, I hope you go for the interview.’
As Clara finished her glass of wine, she thought about how much she loved being safely within her comfort zone. It was where she felt protected. She had gone from feeling on top of the world to having so many worries.
She had always worked at St Peter’s and it was all she had ever wanted. However, there was also this secret part of her that had a desire for love and connection. What if she was to get the position in Cambridge and Tom didn’t want a long-distance relationship? It had occurred to her earlier but now she started seriously considering it. It could mean she had blown the only chance she ever had of love. Although, as she glanced at her phone once more, she began to believe that this might already have been blown and she had absolutely no idea why.
* * *
Clara wasn’t the only person thinking about Tom. Pat had also been trying to contact him to no avail. He had wanted to ask him how he’d enjoyed the afternoon tea and if the couple had made their big announcement. Pat knew Tom had been nervous about it and wanted to make sure it had all gone to plan. He hoped that he wasn’t responding because he was enjoying himself with Clara, but a part of him was concerned. He could feel something was amiss.
* * *
