‘The beauty of the product you’re offering is that variety is a genuine truth. We can run a photo shoot on one of your cruises and get enough imagery to target eight different audience segments at once,’ Zach said.
‘We wouldn’t need to do lots of set-ups and scenarios, and incur model fees,’ Leo added, gesturing at me. ‘The idea can flex to work within any budget. A couple of models for the hero shots, and real passengers or crew for the rest.’
‘It can run for years. As many campaigns as there are cruises.’
My phone lit up with an email from Natalya. God love her. She’d be getting a fat Christmas bonus if she pulled this one out of the bag. I clicked on it to have a quick scan through, as Brooke coughed pointedly and gave me a look. I’d have to wait to check it. She stood up and beamed at Greg, then turned to Zach and Leo.
‘Thank you so much for that excellent presentation, guys. It’s clear to see a lot of thought and work has gone into the ideas, plenty of food for thought. Can you email me the deck?’
‘Already done,’ Leo said, with a smile.
‘Always one step ahead. OK – let’s keep the energy UP. I’m conscious of time, so let’s have a quick comfort break and replenish coffees, while Heidi and Kat set up pitch two. That sound good to you, gals?’
Heidi and I nodded, like cartoon rabbits, as all the chairs squeaked back and everyone scarpered. To the loo, to vape, to check phones and have a few minutes to themselves, while Heidi and I had a professional meltdown.
Thirty-one
‘Quick, open it!’ Heidi hissed, grabbing my phone to see.
‘Let me connect my laptop and we can look at it on the big screen.’ I pressed a button, and the presenter went blank. ‘Hang on, I just need an adapter to…’ Leo had presented on a PC, and I was using a Mac. I rummaged through the leads looking for the right one but couldn’t put my hands on it. ‘It’s in here somewhere.’
‘Hurry up!’ Heidi snapped. ‘Or give me the code for your phone?’
‘It’s eight-two-zero… here it is!’ I said, putting my hands on the adapter and plugging my laptop in. The presentation flashed up on screen, and I quickly flicked through the slides. Heidi and I in our power suits, the logos of our clients, our background story and the awards we’ve won along the way. Blahdy, blah, blah… then into the creative.
Heidi gasped as I put up the first slide.
A boat full of twenty-somethings in bikinis and budgie smugglers, with cocktails and pints stood under the headline: ‘The new Booze Cruise.’ I flicked onto the next slide. ‘Cruising and Boozing for a new Generation’. I felt the blood drain from my face. It looked like a drug-fuelled full moon party.
‘What the fuck did you brief them?’ Heidi asked, aghast.
‘Not this!’ I replied, increasingly bewildered as I flicked through the deck, desperate for anything that might save the situation. One visual that we could pin our pitch on and talk around. I got to the final slide, which was arguably the worst, as Brooke walked in.
‘Client alert,’ she tinkled, then stopped dead in the doorway. I stabbed at my computer to turn it off, but the screen had frozen on ‘Cruising for some boozing?’
‘Holy smokin’ hot bananas, what is that?’ she said, looking at the boat made of vodka bottles.
‘Wrong presentation,’ I said, frantically pressing escape. I was getting a migraine.
‘But that’s our logo?’ she frowned, fixated on the image.
‘Some confusion with one of our freelancers,’ Heidi said, standing on tiptoes in front of the screen to try and block it as I pulled out the power lead.
‘OK, dolls. Well, I’m countin’ on ya to put on a good performance here. My neck is on the line if you don’t shine. I want both pitches to be possible winners, ya hear me? I’ll leave you gals to it.’
She flounced out while I messaged Natalya.
Me: These designs are insane????
Natalya: James said you needed Gen Z Boozing?
Me: CRUISING.
Natalya: Ohhh. That makes more sense.
Me: Can you knock me something else together? I can’t share these. We’re on in 5 but won’t get to the creative for 20 mins. Cool couple on theEsmeralda. Use the shots we took or pull something from Instagram.
Natalya: *Thumbs up emoji*
