‘Yessss!’ everyone shouted in glee.
‘We need a parade and a public vote, just like they do onStrictly, don’t we gang?’
The audience cheered and whistled.
‘Do you want a cock parade?’
‘Yessss!’
‘Subject to availability,’ Barb added, with her tongue in her cheek.
‘Alright then!’ Dahlia wailed. ‘Come on roosters, let’s see you STRUT.’
Madonna’s ‘Vogue’ kicked in and Dahlia ushered everyone to the back of the stage to wait their turn, before striding along the stage in her classic chicken costume to lots of whoops and applause. Then Barbie Queue took another turn, freezing in different poses to show off her outfit, followed by each of the cockerels one by one. Some walked, some danced, one punched his way along as a fighting cockerel, another ate a custard tart to prove he was Portuguese; all of them looked fabulous.
Brooke was last to go, and we clapped and cheered at the tops of our voices as she flapped her wings and waddledlike a pigeon. We did our best to influence the clapometer, which seemed very hit and miss – and was really just Arlo pressing a button behind a curtain.
‘Thank you,’ Dahlia said, gathering all the contestants together to take a bow. ‘All of you. You are all winners in my eyes.’
Everyone cheered.
‘But there has to be an official winner for the grand prize and according to our clapometer the gold star Portuguese Cockerel prize goes to…’ she reached into the contestants and pulled out one of the cockerels to present to the audience ‘…you! Whoever you are!’
***
‘Give me an hour, then let yourself in,’ I whispered, slipping Heidi’s key into Leo’s pocket. I wanted our last night together to be extra special and I’d had an idea.
He gave me one of his dark, intense looks and I nearly forgot where I was. We’d give ourselves away if I sat here much longer.I’dgive us away. ‘I’m not sure I can wait,’ he said.
‘Try,’ I murmured. ‘It’ll be worth it.’
The pull between us felt stronger than ever, and I found it difficult to physically draw myself away. ‘Night, both,’ I called to Zach and Brooke, who were deep in conversation, before speedwalking off down the corridor. I had to ready the room and myself, and even an hour was cutting it tight.
I dragged both mattresses onto the floor bringing the pillows and the blankets down with them, fluffing them all up to make a cute floor bed. The two strawberry-shaped tap lamps gave a soft light from on top of the bed frame, and I spritzed the air with some perfume. It wasn’t the FourSeasons, but it could almost pass as a double futon in a cosy studio apartment, if we half-closed our eyes. Anything was better than another night in the bunk. That tangled-up sweatbox was fun as a one-off but as a romantic experiment it was not to be repeated.
My battery was dead again, but my inner clock told me I had at least another half hour, so I plugged in my phone to charge, had a long shower and put on the one decent set of underwear I’d brought with me. I spritzed my hair with sea salt and gave it a good brush. Mum always said if I brushed it one hundred times, the blonde would turn to gold. Which wasn’t entirely false, as it was always much shinier by the time I’d finished. Although I think her source was Rapunzel. I twisted it into a long plait and would shake it all out once Leo arrived. The original non-heat beach waves.
Were heels too much? It was our last night after all… I popped on a pair of wedges to give myself some height, then did a full face of make-up including false eyelashes. And then worried I’d overdone it. I sprayed perfume onto the bed sheets, with another spritz into the air for good measure, then wafted it about.
It must have been another thirty minutes by now… I slathered my arms and legs in a citrus moisturiser and reapplied my lipstick. My phone was still black. I needed a new one; the battery was forever powering down when I needed it most. There was so little space in the room that it was easiest to sit on the floor in my new bed. Leaning against the bunk bed ladder in my underwear while I waited was far too weird. Leo would be biding his time, so as not to be too obvious. Keeping up the ruse. He had a key, so he’d get here when he could, I’d just have to be patient.
I put the radio on for some mood music and lay down in the bed, which was surprisingly snuggly. Having the weight of both duvets and the softness of two pillows made all the difference. It was warm and comfortable, and a wave of tiredness hit me as soon as I lay down; I was zonked from running around all day. I’d just rest my eyes for a second or two, maybe even have a power nap to recharge. Leo could wake me up when he got here.
Twenty-six
Tuesday 6th July
I woke up in my makeshift double bed, but there was no Leo. My frilly knickers and matching bra were still pristine and even my false eyelashes had stayed in position. I couldn’t have been more ready for a good send-off; I’d had everything I needed – except for Leo himself. I reached for my phone, and it was still black and blank.What the hell was going on with it?I took a closer look and realised I hadn’t switched it on at the socket. User error. I plugged it into the battery pack instead and waited for it to boot up. It must be morning by now… it felt like morning. I pulled up the black-out blinds and it was light outside, so I threw on my dressing gown and tiptoed to the door to see if people were bustling about. It was docking day after all.
No one. It must be earlier than I thought. Unless there’d been some mass exodus and I’d been left alone on the ship. I felt suddenly panicked, with no Leo and no proof of life anywhere. I needed to find some other humans, so I threw a dress on, grabbed my phone as soon as it had a sliverof charge and wandered down the corridor in my slippers. The crew were buzzing around as usual, so there hadn’t been an apocalypse. We hadn’t been captured by pirates or zombies. Phew. It was just too early for most people to be awake: quarter to six according to the restaurant clock. I’d walked around the boat in a loop and stopped when I realised I was just down the corridor from Brooke’s suite and her door was opening. What was she doing up?What was I doing up?I didn’t want her to see me lurking around in my slippers, so I hid behind a large urn to let whoever it was pass. I waited a few minutes and nobody walked past, so I peeked out and spotted a figure walking the other way. I watched from a distance as a dishevelled Leo sauntered off down the corridor, his hair mussed, shirt crinkled, and his suit jacket slung over one shoulder. The same jacket he’d worn in the bar last night. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Not only had he left me alone and wanting when he’d promised he was on his way,he’d slept in Brooke’s suite. After his big speech about honesty and trust, he’d almost fooled me into thinking he was one of the good guys.
How could he?This was so much worse than being ghosted; I’d rather have had my usual three-month fob-off than catch actual feelings and be cheated on. That was something that never happened. I was shocked and humiliated and devastated all at once. I tried to swallow my feelings, but it hurt. For the first time in I couldn’t remember how long, I’d left my heart slightly ajar and it had taken a direct hit. Well, it was time to close it up again. I watched him stop mid-stride and pull out his phone, swiping and tapping as I loitered behind a water butt. Then my pocket vibrated as the battery came back to life.
Leo: I might not make it to your room tonight – Zach wants to play cards and I can’t see a way out of it. Can I make it up to you when we get back to London?
He’d sent that at midnight, but it had only just come through.
Leo: Morning, beautiful. Land ahoy! Sorry about last night I got waylaid and couldn’t get away – I’ll tell you all about it at breakfast. One final fry-up at our usual table?
