‘Finally! The reprobates return,’ Heidi said, as Leo and I walked into the lounge. She was sat on a velvet couch with Brooke and Zach, and they were tucking into the scone layer of their afternoon tea. Tiny lumps in different flavours: cheese, chocolate chip, cherry and sultana. My mouth watered just looking at the gold stands crammed full of goodies.
‘It took a while, but we managed to give you the slip,’ Leo said, with a charming smile, nudging in next to Zach.
‘I’m so sorry, Brooke!’ I gushed. ‘There was an accident on the walk down from the volcano and we stopped to help. A lady fell and broke her ankle.’
‘A pair of angels doing the Lord’s work – how can I complain about that?’
‘Exactly. Kat called the air ambulance and did a great job of keeping her calm while I carried her down.’
Not technically true, but I nodded along with Leo’s version of the story. His eyes were on me, and my face washot. I felt totally exposed. They were all going to find out we’d kissed and Heidi would be furious. She was very black and white when it came to business and would see it as defecting to the other side. I had to keep my professional wits about me andact normal. Sweating was not the answer.
The lounge had been decorated to look like the Orient Express, with wooden booths, crystal glasses and glittering silver cutlery. There were gold bells on the wall to tinkle if you needed more of anything, and barely a murmur as people stuffed their faces with smoked salmon sandwiches and cream cakes.
‘We’ve got the whole day to explore Madeira,’ Brooke said, cradling her cup and saucer. ‘And I appreciate you all need some downtime, and thinking time – as do I, but Dahlia has managed to get us tickets for the island toboggan. Apparently it’s an absolute “must-do” while we’re here.’
‘The Carreiros do Monte?’ Zach asked, looking vaguely interested in the conversation for once. ‘Yeah, count me in. How did she manage that? It’s been fully booked online for days.’
‘Where there’s a Dahlia, there’s a way,’ Brooke said. ‘She once got me on the front row for New York Fashion Week, three seats down from Anna Wintour. The girl knows everyone.’
‘Tobogganing on water?’ Now that was a safety hazard. I had visions of the five of us flying over a waterfall on a plastic sled without any brakes.Red flag, red flag…
‘No, on the roads. Big wicker baskets on wheels, and two men push you down the hill by the looks of it,’ Leo said, reading off his phone. ‘Known as the gondolas of Madeira, it starts at the top of the island and finishes in Funchal.’
That didn’t sound much better and I sensed Heidi recoil. ‘How fantastic,’ she said, with a well-trained smile. ‘Although, unfortunately I’m allergic to er… wicker.’
‘Are you, really?’ Zach asked, in a sardonic tone.
‘Yup. But I will absolutely cheer you all on from the sidelines.’
Leo frowned. ‘Isn’t wicker a weaving technique?’
‘It’s the bamboo or whatever they use,’ Heidi said, smoothly. ‘My skin is very sensitive.’
Brooke didn’t even seem to be listening. ‘We’ll take the cable car up the hill, so grab whatever y’all need for the day and let’s meet on the bridge in half an hour. OK?’
She marched off and I flopped down in her chair. I felt like I’d already done a full day’s work and was shattered from all the travel but had to suck it up and get on with it. I ordered a coffee and a champagne and popped a scone in my mouth. Caffeine, sugar and alcohol would see me through.
***
Four black stallions with white plumes and plaited tails stood waiting for us as we got off the ship, held steady by a man in a top hat.
‘You guys enjoy yourselves!’ Dahlia called, helping the four of us into the cart. ‘This is one of the excursions we are trialling for VIPs, so I want to hear all about it when you get back. Starting with a horse-drawn carriage up to the cable car and a queue-jump for the toboggan.’
‘Are we allowed to do that?’
‘Yep, all sorted. Here are your tickets for the cable car, then go straight to the front of the toboggan queue andshow your Excalibur pass for the Carreiros do Monte.’ She handed everything to me, as the responsible adult in charge. Heidi had of course reneged on her cheerleader promise under the guise of working on the pitch, so it was just the four of us on a double date. I sat opposite Leo in the carriage, clenching my thighs tight to avoid any physical contact. I could feel myself sweating at the effort, his pheromones buzzing around me as I tried to hold it together.
‘Off we go,’ Leo said, as the horses wobbled over the cobbles. The harbour was a beautiful web of pathways and roads going off in different directions and it was another gorgeous, sunny day. We passed the Mercado Dos Lavradores, the farmer’s market, with its colourful fruit displays. Huge piles of bananas, mushrooms and potatoes out the front where sellers offered passers-by samples of tropical delicacies. A neat queue had formed outside the bakery, where the smell of fresh bread mixed with sugar and cinnamon lured people in. We clip-clopped past whitewashed buildings with ornate shutters and blue and white tiles, surrounded by lush green trees and flowers in red, pink and purple. It was the perfect way to see the island. I felt like I was in a musical and might burst into song at any moment.
‘Ain’t this the prettiest place?’ Brooke trilled, handing out some mints. ‘I just love Europe and Iextra lovethat our cruises bring all these places to people. Or should I say all these people to places.’
On an individual level it was great for people to see so much in such a short space of time. And there was probably some sort of carbon footprint efficiency in so many people doing the same thing all at once. But we were like a swarmof locusts piling off the ship, in and out of the shops and restaurants and onto the cable car; eating, drinking, buying and spreading out to do and see whatever we wanted. Feeding off the island for a few hours before we got back on the boat and disappeared. It was hard not to see us as using and abusing the island’s resources, even though logically I knew the locals relied on tourists to make a living.
We sank into the buttery leather seats of the cable car, enjoying the island view from another perspective, as it slowly dragged us up the hill. The flora and fauna laid itself out below like a vegetable medley with the layers of different greens in stark contrast to the icy blues and turquoise of the ocean.
‘This is the life, isn’t it?’ Zach said, unzipping his jacket and making himself comfortable.
‘Just missing a mini freezer with ice-creams,’ I joked. ‘And frozen daiquiris.’
