‘Storm chasing! Yeah!’ Will shouted, flexing his muscles to make Celeste giggle.
I had to say something.
‘I didn’t see the part about the swimming,’ I started.
‘Ja.It’s the cold to the hot,’ Henrik said.
‘Which sounds fun, and Ilove thatfor you guys, but I’m not massively keen.’ I was increasingly mindful of my teeny-weeny jigsaw tankini and wishing I’d worn my wetsuit, or even just some shorts.
‘No pressure to do the ice part of fire and ice, but you might find it a relief after the sauna. It is extremely hot in there,’ Henrik said. ‘Deliberately so.’
‘Of course. And missing out is totally on me. I thought the fire and ice would be in different huts.’
Will snorted. ‘Why would they put the ice in a hut, when it’s already on the ground?’
Smart-arse.
‘The last time I did this kind of thing, we moved between two rooms in the spa. Cold, then hot, then swim.’
‘Which is what this is, but without the swim so we don’t get hypothermia,’ Celeste said with a frown. ‘But it’s a betterexperience. We’re in nature. This is the real deal. You don’t get snow in a spa.’
‘They sit you in an overpriced freezer, then pop you in the oven,’ Will said.
‘Both experiences will have their advantages,’ Henrik laughed, coming to my rescue.
‘It’s just what I’m used to,’ I said, feeling defensive. There was nothing wrong with the spa version.
Celeste slipped off her Dry Robe. ‘Shall we get on with it, then?’
‘Absolutely. Sara, do you have your costume to change into?’ Henrik asked, taking in my waterproof trousers and thermal combo.
‘Yes. No. I’ve got it on underneath and then this to wrap myself in.’ I held up my green bath towel and Will and Celeste exchangedwho is this idiot?glances. ‘Sorry, I thought towels would be provided.’
Henrik paused. ‘There’s a robe in the changing room you can put on between saunas, if you don’t want to run into the snow. You’ll still be more than cold enough to feel the benefit.’
There were signs everywhere insisting guests wash themselves while naked – with soap –
before using the sauna. ‘Naked’ was in capital letters. It was like a boot camp. They wouldn’t know though, would they? If I left my bikini on while I showered? The poster glared at me as if it could read my mind and I quickly stripped off –please wash your face, bits and pits– then I patched my bikini back on and slipped on the robe. I knew they’d have guest robes somewhere. Bright orange, withFireflystitched across the back in tiny green dots. It didn’t look anything special on the peg, but it was velvety soft inside, and heavy. A dressing gown version of a weighted blanket. It somehow took the pressure off my shoulders and grounded me at the same time, connecting me with the moment. I popped my purple Crocs on and went back out, feeling like I was dressed the part.
‘Ready?’ Henrik was in his swimmers and wearing the same robe as me. We looked like competing couples on a TV challenge. Me and Henrik versus Will and Celeste. I didn’t want to let Team Firefly down, but I also didn’t want to freeze to death. So…
I plastered on a smile. ‘Yup! Let’s go.’
Henrik jumped up and down like a pogo stick, suddenly invigorated, then flung open the door and disappeared into a cloud of snowy smoke. ‘Follow meeeeeee!’ he called behind him, and Will and Celeste followed with a whoop. I went as fast as my little Crocs would carry me but I was already slower than everyone else and we were only on the first challenge. I toddled out into the snow and couldn’t help but shriek as the cold smacked me in the face. Blinded by the wind and breathless from the shock – this was what commitment to wellness got you.
‘Sara! Over here!’ Henrik called as my body started to cryogenically freeze. I’d be found mid-stride once the storm was over, like the White Witch in Narnia. I ignored the fact I couldn’t feel my legs and kept doing the motion of walking, like TheresaMay dancing in the snow. Henrik grabbed my hand for the last few steps, a silhouette against the heat and glow of the sauna behind him. Like an alien grabbing an earthling and pulling them into the spaceship.
‘Ahhuhuhuu.’ I shuddered involuntarily as I made it inside. The dry heat was delicious, enveloping me all over and making me shiver. I rolled out my tiny towel on the bottom rack to lie down for a snoozy sauna and hung up my robe. The others were sat on the edge of their seats with bright red faces and an egg timer between them.
‘It isextremelyhot in here,’ Henrik said, stating the obvious. My eyelids were already sweaty, and they were always the last to go. ‘We recommend no more than two minutes at a time.’
The sands ran out and Team Canada leapt up.
‘See you out there,’ Celeste called, as they ran back into the snow.
‘I’ll wait with you,’ Henrik said, looking at me with concern.
‘I’m not sure I can do two minutes,’ I croaked. ‘I’m already too hot.’ I felt heady and dizzy, and my throat was dry. Henrik handed me some water, and I pressed the glass to my face for a second, before pouring it all over my head. The water mingled with the sweat, slow broiling me. I needed to get outside and cool down.
