‘Best get on with it then,’ I said, surveying the wall and pulling out the pencil sketch I’d done earlier. ‘Thanks for the coffee!’
I’d already decided on a foodie theme and had Mia’s pencils and paints with me to get all the details down. I’d toyed with a sunrise or sunset but thought that might be too bright for a nursery; it needed to be a nice, calming space, full of sleepy colours. I poured the purple paint into my roller tray to cover the old mint green. Each swipe of the roller cleaning the wall to create a fresh space for myself, a wall-sized easel to reimagine. I opened the white and the blues and started layering on the colour, smooshing the paintbrush to create soft, fluffy clouds in a light, night sky. A crescent moon glowing in the corner and a darker edge of inky blue at the top, where the stars poked through. The beginning of dreams. Each cloud had a different type of food hanging from a gossamer thread. A strawberry, a piece of cheese, a wedge of cake, a hamburger, and each one had its own face and personality; the cheese was smiling, the hamburger was snoozing, a ravioli dad hugged his gnocchi son. I was just finishing off a pineapple reading a book when I heard voices on the stairs.
‘You can’t go up there,’ Xavier called loudly, to give me some warning.
‘Why not? I need to get changed,’ Holly replied, exasperated.
I stood back and took a good look at the wall. It was finished and it was exactly how I’d pictured. Dreamy, but mischievous and slightly surreal. A night sky, full of stars and wonder, with lots of food in there too – what else could it be for the nursery of two chefs. A wall of friendly foods for my fairy-godchild to be.
‘I’ve got a little surprise for yoouuuu,’ I called, putting my paintbrush down and opening the door a tiny crack.
‘Abs? What are you doing here?’ Holly said, pressing her nose to mine at the edge of the door.
‘I wanted to give you a goodbye gift to say thank you for looking after me. Thank you for everything.’
‘She’s been working on it all day,’ Xavier said.
‘What is it?’ Holly said.
‘Je ne sais pas, mon chere,’ he replied. ‘I haven’t seen it myself.’
‘Are you readyyyy?’ I opened the door to let them both in and Holly gasped in delight, then burst into tears. Xavier took the whole wall in, then gave me a huge smile.
‘I love it,’ Holly sobbed. ‘Sorry, it’s my hormones. They’re happy tears, I promise.’
‘Are you sure? I don’t want one of thoseChanging Roomsdisaster moments. I can cover it back up in the mint green if you hate it.’
‘Not at all. It is wonderful, Abi, thank you,’ Xavier said, putting his arm around me.
‘It’s called “Dreaming of Food” and it’s my first ever mural,’ I said, with a smile.
‘It’s perfect,’ Holly said. ‘We’ll tell baby Lavedrine that Aunty Abs painted it and we’ll think of you every morning and every night.’
‘Every sunrise and every sunset,’ I said, tapping my necklace three times.
*
Thursday 5thSeptember
‘Is that everything?’ Paolo asked, standing on one foot as he put my suitcase in the boot.
‘Yep. That’s me. One suitcase, one handbag – I like to travel light.’ I gave him a kiss. ‘Thank you so much for everything, Paolo, I’ve had the most wonderful time. Good luck with the new guests next week.’
Holly and Xavier had Vespa-ed over to see me off and Xavier gave me one of his big-armed French hugs. ‘Look after her please,’ I said, nodding at Holly. ‘Especially now.’
Holly flashed me a look.
‘Why especially now?’ Mia asked, softly.
‘Oops, sorry,’ I said.
‘We weren’t going to tell everyone for a few more weeks, but we are expecting a baby,’ Holly said, beaming from ear to ear, and Xavier put a protective arm around her.
‘Congratulations!’ Mia said, happily, exchanging a smile with Paolo. He nodded. ‘We have the same news to share. Our baby is due in March.’
Holly clapped her hands in delight, and Xavier shook Paolo’s hand. My heart sank a tiny bit. I wasn’t just leaving – I was being left behind. This was the future I’d imagined for me and Josh and yet here I was, a decade on, with no one and nothing. I’d slowed my life down so much that I’d been taken over by everyone else. I was happy for them all. Of course I was. But it was a stark reminder that life keeps going, whether you choose to go with it or not. Other people’s lives were moving on – but a part of mine had stopped a long time ago. One last goodbye to make before I got in the car. I gave Bianco and Toppa a pat, then picked Nero up and gave him a big kiss.
‘Goodbye, little man,’ I said, holding him up in the air. He looked off to the side, avoiding eye contact, then gave me a conciliatory lick as I nestled him into my arms one last time and kissed him again. He was so gentle and soft, I didn’t want to let him go, but Mia was waiting, and I had a train to catch. ‘OK then, well I’m going to go now,’ I said, giving him one final kiss and putting him on the floor. He sat and looked at me, like avery good boy. I’d swiped a slice of prosciutto from the breakfast buffet for just this moment and got it out of my pocket, tearing it into three for each of the puppies.
