‘OK,’ I said, trembling inside. I looked up at Xavier. ‘As long as you promise to go really slowly. But fast enough to get us there in time?’
‘I promise,’ Xavier said, putting his arm around me and giving me a squeeze. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe.’
I swapped places with Holly and jumped up behind Xavier on his battered red Vespa. He revved the bike into life and Holly passed me her helmet. I eyed it with terror, then clipped it on. OK, I was really doing this. It was my only chance to catch Tony before he left. In for two and out for two. I didn’t have time for long breaths.
‘Ready?’ Xavier called over his shoulder.
‘Yes!’ I shouted. Lying through my teeth.
‘We’ll all be dead in fifty years, remember!’ Holly said, with a big smile.Some of us maybe sooner, I thought, my eyes to the sky.
‘Hold on tight,’ Xavier said, rolling us down the drive, then pulling out into the traffic. I gripped him around the waist and closed my eyes, my heart in my mouth. I’d just pretend I was on a fairground ride.It was all just a really fun fairground ride and I’d be ab-sol-ute-ly fine.
Xavier wove in and out between the cars, navigating the traffic to get us to the train station as quickly as possible, while driving as slowly as he could to not give me a panic attack. It was a difficult brief. Slow, but not too slow. We needed to get there before Tony left. It was changeover day for the big hotels and the Sunday morning traffic was nose-to-nose. Xavier was doing his best under the circumstances but the put-putting of the Vespa was making me feel sick. It would be over soon.It would be over soon.We arrived at Poggibonsi station and it was quiet, and the car park was empty. Too quiet for a train to be due. My heart sank. We’d missed it. The train had gone and I had no idea which train or where to. Tony could be on his way to Florence or Pisa or any of the train stations in between.
‘Do you want to try Mia again and find out where he’s headed?’ Xavier said. It was half-statement, half-question, but it seemed hopeless. Even if we knew where he was going, we were unlikely to catch him now. And it was one thing getting on the back of a Vespa for twenty minutes, it was quite another committing to it for an hour into the city, and then another hour home. There was no way I could do it. My legs were already feeling stretched from sitting across the bike and my body was still vibrating from the engine. And not in a good way. I didn’t want to admit defeat, but I couldn’t see a way around it.
I pressed redial to try and get through to Mia, then shook my head, slowly. Straight to voicemail, five times in a row. We were too late. Tony had gone without a backwards glance. Work had called and he’d dropped everything and gone – true to form and exactly as his mum said he always did. Any connection between the two of us covered off with a quick note, and instantly forgotten.
‘It’s hopeless,’ I said, sadly. ‘We can’t beat the train on a bike and there’s no point without knowing all the details. We don’t even know which airport he’s going to or what time he flies.’ I felt like a total idiot. I knew everything and nothing about him. Tied up in my own knots.
‘Shall we head back then?’ Xavier asked, gently, clearly mindful of getting back to Holly and the restaurant for the lunchtime rush.
The clock chimed one and my body slumped in exhaustion. I nodded. The thought of another ride on the Vespa made me feel queasy, but I had to suck it up.
‘Yes,’ I said, defeated. ‘Sorry for the wasted journey.’
Had Tony really just gone without saying goodbye? I hadn’t even had chance to rewatch the beautiful film he’d made. Or talk to him about it properly. Or give him any of my contact details to fulfil my er… Christmas order. And, well, the truth was I wasn’t ready for him to leave. I’d got used to having him around. To seeing his face at breakfast and hanging out together each day. I was going to say yes to dinner. To take a chance on him and give ‘Tuscany us’ a shot. But I’d waited far too long to make that decision and now he’d gone.
‘Don’t be too down, Abi – at least you tried,’ Xavier said. ‘And, who knows? There might be an easy explanation. Maybe he hasn’t gone for good.’
‘Do you think?’ I replied, feeling a glimmer of hope.
A chattering of starlings swooped overhead as I climbed behind Xavier and clung on, ready for the ride back. Tony suddenly leaving was a lot, and I needed some time to take it in. I’d finally been ready to give something new a go, and the universe had laughed in my face. It served me right for being so cautious for so long, and then for letting myself start to care. I couldn’t win either way. We set off and I closed my eyes. The adrenaline and excitement had kept me going on the way to the train station; the ride back was just terrifying and depressing. An embarrassing return with nothing to show for it. How desperate to have chased after him when he’d left without a second glance. And even if he wasn’t gone for good, we’d both be back in our real homes in different countries soon enough.
I couldn’t decide if being on the Vespa was making me more or less scared of motorbikes. I was way beyond my comfort zone, which could only be a good thing, but I was holding my breath for too long at a time and starting to feel faint from inhaling all the petrol fumes. Xavier pulled into the vineyard and zoomed along the dusty drive, the farmhouse now a familiar, comforting sight.
Holly ran over to meet us. ‘Did you catch him?’ she asked. I jumped off the bike and nearly kissed the ground. I wouldn’t be getting back on one of those anytime soon.
I shook my head, despondently. ‘Too late.’
‘Ahhh, Abs,’ she said, with a sympathetic wince, giving me a big hug. ‘His loss.’
Xavier shook his head, clearly baffled. ‘Mia must know where he’s gone and what’s going on. Wait until she gets back,’ he said. ‘Don’t let this ruin the rest of your holiday.’
‘I won’t,’ I said, with a big yawn. But I knew it would. It wouldn’t be the same without Tony here and I was absolutely gutted.
Twenty-one
Monday 2ndSeptember
So that was it. He’d gone. The OG guests had all checked out and the new guests hadn’t arrived yet. The vineyard had emptied out and I was on my own, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. I’d had one heads up for a few days’ work on a TV ad, but that wasn’t going to get me very far. My only friend left at the vineyard was Nero and he was asleep with Bianco and Toppa in the puppy crate when I made my way down to yoga. Viola was sat in her customary lotus position and she smiled as I walked in.
‘I thought only me today,’ she said, as the sun hovered on the horizon, filling the sky with pinks and yellows.
‘Only me and you,’ I yawned. ‘Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well last night.’
She nodded and lit the candle next to her to signal the start of the session, and I shuffled myself into a comfortable position. I crossed my legs and held out my hands toom, but I couldn’t hide my inner glum.
