Zola laughed, her body swaying from side to side. ‘Oh, yeah? And how’s he going to help? Eh? By snuggling up in Jimmy’s house with Jimmy’s girlfriend. You’re pathetic!’
‘What?’ I was furious now. I had no idea why she was gunning for me. ‘No, actually, he’s offered us jobs at his company for a start.’ I shook my head, not knowing why I was under attack for a stupid hug from my ex.
‘And why do you think he’s done that, babe?’ she continued. ‘He’s controlling you, Ella.’ She slowed her voice, as if I were the thickest person in the world. ‘He wants to keep you down here in a little box where you’ll stay forever. He doesn’t want you to become successful, to grow! Because then you won’t need him anymore!’
I laughed. ‘You’re acting like a lunatic. He’s just trying to fucking help, Zola. He’s being kind!’ I tried my hardest to keep my voice low, but I knew the men in the living room would spot a domestic. ‘And if he was controlling me, why would he offer you and Katy a job too?’
Zola was rocking on her feet, like she was about to explode with rage. ‘Because he’s trying to win you back!’ Then she turned her head towards the living room and called out, ‘But you can tell Mr Khan I’d rather shovel shit all day than work for him!’ She turned back to face me with a wide grin.
‘You are fucking out of order, Zo!’ I barged past her towards my room, noticing from the corner of my eye that Philip had left the apartment.
‘Yeah, well, I’d rather be out of order than be treated like a total fucking sap!’ she called back.
I turned, feeling it hit me all at once.
‘This is what it’s all about, isn’t it?’ I snarled, realising why she was being so bitter. ‘You’re jealous.’ I shrugged. ‘You’re jealous that Philip came to New York after he fucked up, and Curtis didn’t. You’re raging because he’s willing to change, when you haven’t heard jack shit from Curtis for weeks. That’s why you’re so angry, that’s why you don’t want to go home. You’re scared.’
Zola stood in a daze, as if I’d taken a steamy piss in her cornflakes. She was motionless, speechless.
A jolt of adrenaline made my hands tremble. ‘You’re scared to make a decision. You act tough, Zola. But honestly, you’re probably the most pathetic out of us all.’
I turned around, charged into my room and slammed the door shut. I felt sick and crouched down to my knees. My heart was racing, my hands were shaking.Why did I say that? Why was she so horrible?
A few moments passed. Out in the hallway, there was silence. I stood back up, opened the wardrobe and pulled on my long coat and UGGs.
I had to get out of this apartment.
Chapter Forty-One
Ella
I stormed through the living room and slammed my hand on the lift door to open it. In the background, Katy called my name faintly, but I ignored her. I ignored Ethan, too – he was still awkwardly pacing with his backpack at his side. Furious and hurt, I stepped into the elevator. I wanted out. I wanted away – away from New York, from Jimmy, from my friends, from all the mess happening around us.
As I stepped out into the autumn air, my shoulders dropped. The breeze whizzed by my face and hair, making me shiver. I started walking with no sense of direction, no place I had to be. I walked, with every conversation with those close to me from the past few days bouncing around in my head. I thought about Fee and Travis, my heart aching for her. What must she think about me, knowing all this time? I thought about Jimmy, who had lost his company and reputation – something he had built with such determination from the ground up. I let out a huge scream and noticed people staring at me like I was insane.
Eventually, I reached a rubbish-littered alleyway, buildings surrounding me, but I couldn’t see any landmarks to figure out where I was. The sun had set, and I realised I must have been walking for hours. My stomach ached with hunger. I turned around, noticing graffiti on the walls and a group of sketchy teenagers staring and whistling towards me. This place, wherever it was, felt dodgy and really unsafe. I pulled out my phone and walked back the way I’d come, wondering who I would call.
I found myself dialling Philip; the only person who seemed to care about me right now.
‘Hey,’ he said, sounding tired, but surprised to hear my voice.
‘Philip, I’m lost and I didn’t know who to call,’ I whimpered, peeking over my shoulder, making sure I wasn’t being followed by the hooded teens.
‘Lost? Ella, where are you?’ he asked, sounding more concerned.
‘If I knew that I wouldn’t be fucking lost,’ I snapped, but felt immediate regret. ‘Sorry!’ I added.
‘OK, just think, is there anywhere you recognise? Or .?.?.’
My phone was beeping and I looked at the screen.Low battery, 1%.
‘Fuck, my phone’s about to die!’ I panicked.
‘It’s fine, I’ve got you!’ Philip insisted. ‘I have your location, stay where you are and I’ll be there in twenty minutes. You’ve walked for miles, Ella!’
I was confused. How did he know where I was? But at the same time, relief washed through me.
‘OK, right. I won’t move.’
