I felt my face twist. ‘I was working, Philip.’
His hands shot into fists. ‘For God knows how long!’ His voice raised, then he let out a tired sigh, realising he had almost lost it. ‘Look, I acted out. Erin and I are over; we never really began. I was handling your rejection poorly, instead of handling it like a man. I invited in a young, fame-loving, money-grabbing woman who idolised me. She was an ego boost. Nothing more. And, I suppose, deep down, at the time I wanted you to see it. I wanted you to hurt. I had her out in the press, attending idiotic events that I didn’t even want to go to, wondering if you’d see us together and reach out.’
‘Right .?.?.’ I managed, totally taken aback, feeling like I had no more words. I felt hurt ache in my stomach, even as he said her name. Pain stabbed me in the chest. He did this for a reaction from me? What kind of schoolboy bullshit was he spinning?
‘I need someone straightforward, supportive,’ he said, more animated. ‘You’re the real deal, Ella.’
‘I need that too, Philip. And you didn’t give me those things. You took over.’ My voice was low. Admitting it out loud made me feel ashamed of myself and how I’d let it happen. ‘You wanted me to follow your schedules, fit into your life, but you shut me off as soon as you disagreed about me coming to New York.’
He rubbed his eyes and spoke quietly. ‘I can if you .?.?.’
‘I’ve met someone else,’ I cut over him. ‘I’m happy with where it’s going and—’
‘Pardon? Ella?’ He shook his head like I’d just stunned him with a frying pan. ‘Someone from New York?’ he questioned, seeming much more tense all of a sudden.
‘Yeah. He’s kind, supportive and—’
‘And from New York?’ Philip laughed, holding out his hands as if it was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard. I didn’t know if I felt sorry for him or wanted to jab him straight in the jaw.
‘I’m not doing this with you.’ I stood up. ‘I appreciate the apology. I hope your meetings go well and I’ll maybe see you around.’
‘Ella, sit down,’ he moaned. ‘Come on, I haven’t seen you for a month!’
I continued to squeeze around the table, the coffee cups swaying back and forth. ‘And whose fucking fault is that?’ I could feel the anger finally seething out of me. ‘I waited. I waited in that restaurant, and you never came back!’ My voice was getting louder. I could feel my entire body tremble. ‘I waited in the house, making sure my fucking TV volume was below ten just in case you rang the buzzer and I missed it. Do you know how pathetic that made me feel?’ I let out a gasp of air, trying to push back the wave of emotion and steady myself. ‘Then you fuck around with some new piece, getting papped all about town, only to show up here and question me about my new relationship that has just fucking started?’ I sighed. I had no energy left. I picked up my laptop and placed it under my arm. ‘Let me move on, let me be happy. Please.’ I inhaled a long breath, determined not to cry over this fuckboy man again.
‘OK.’ He looked as if I’d just shot him. Completely stunned. ‘If you change your mind, I’m here for the next few weeks.’ His eyes blurred, like he was holding back just as much as I was.
‘I won’t.’ I managed a smile, grabbing hold of my trench coat and snatching up my bag.
I had taken a few more steps when I heard him call out, ‘Pilates!’
I felt my eyes shut at our private nickname, the one I’d made up the day I met him. There were so many good memories; I hated that he had to ruin them in the end. Eventually, I turned back.
‘Who’s the guy?’ he asked. ‘Do I know him?’
I nodded. ‘Yeah, it’s Jimmy Link,’ I said and turned out onto the street.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Katy
Later that night, Katy had finally tidied up the apartment and lit some candles, ready for a night of passion with Cobi, the six-foot-six basketball player who’d promised to have her walking like John Wayne and screeching like Mariah Carey by the end of the night. Ella was spending an overnight at Jimmy’s after her traumatic, unexpected encounter with Philip, and Zola was pottering around the apartment, looking lost. Katy had noticed she was far more subdued than usual and wondered if the whole Curtis saga was finally taking its toll on her friend.
‘How’s it looking?’ Katy asked Zola, who was slipping on her trainers.
Zola glanced around, smiling. ‘First time you’ve tidied, I’m impressed!’
‘I don’t have to tidy normally, not when Ella lives here.’ Katy shrugged. ‘OK, so I’ve shaved, tanned, moisturised and stretched. This man is filthy, Zola!’ A wide, overhyped grin spread across Katy’s face as she pulled out her phone. ‘I asked him what he wanted to do with me. You wanna hear it?’
Zola turned in disgust, her face screwed up. After Curtis, the absolute last thing she was thinking about was sex.
‘And he said, when he turns up, he wants me to answer the door completely naked. I’m not to say a word, just let him fuck me up.’ Katy was covering her mouth like this was the sort of romantic fantasy she’d always dreamed of.
‘You’re not going to, are you?’ Zola asked. ‘What if Ella forgets something and walks in with Jimmy and you have the beef curtains out?’
‘Ew.’ Now Katy screwed up her face, but it was fleeting as a dirty smile soon returned. ‘I think I am, Zo. It feels liberating, you know. Out here in New York, in a stunning apartment. Look at that view .?.?.’
‘Exactly, that view is enough, babe. You don’t know this guy. What if you don’t fancy him and you’ve already shown him your goods?’
