‘Y’see, sugar, I much prefer the younger ladies. These darn knees are in bad shape now.’
Fuck, I know that feeling, I thought. Me and Leo, we have so much in common.
‘And I suppose I’ve realised as time’s gone on that I like my women how I like my mares: young, fit, lean .?.?.’ He winked, or at least that’s what I thought it was .?.?. ‘and always ready for riding.’
I wanted to die inside. I honestly felt violated as he gazed across the table at me. I shuffled in my seat. How fucking long was left? Mares? This was a fucking mare all right. I was ready to kill Katy.
‘Right. OK. And have you attended one of these events before?’ I continued, trying to appear relaxed as I glanced over my shoulder. I wanted to catch Zola’s attention, but she was in fits of laughter with Chad.
‘Yes, ma’am,’ Leo grunted.
‘And do you have any luck?’ I questioned, wondering who in the world would fall for this piss-poor patter.
Leo grunted again, his stomach bouncing upward at the question. ‘I did say I was in the oil business, didn’t I?’
His eyes skimmed up and down my body and, very slowly, he licked his lips. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Maybe I should excuse myself to go to the bathroom?
‘And let me tell you, darlin’, you look like you’d taste as sweet as a fresh Sunday pie. Mmmm .?.?. Hell, I could eat you right up this second.’ He grinned widely, his lips still shining from where he’d licked them.
I glanced behind me, hoping, praying for the bell to ring.
‘Oh, my God. OK .?.?. Thanks. Yeah. So, do you have any questions for me?’ I asked, not knowing if I should go along with his blatant misogyny or insult the Texas tycoon. But I had seen enough ofYellowstoneto realise there was no way I was starting beef with a cowboy.
‘No, ma’am. I am a man of few words.’
Could have fooled me; the cunt hadn’t stopped talking since I sat down.
‘I’m more about big old gestures,’ he almost snarled as his crinkly eyes peered down to his groin.
I really didn’t want them to, but my eyes automatically followed his and – dear Jesus – his bulgewasgigantic. Leo had his own Empire State Building poking at the stitching of his cream trousers, striving to get out. Yip, Grandpa had a rip-roaring rager. No wonder his knees had gone, lugging that weapon around.
Ping.
I stood up, eyes still popping as I struggled to shake off the image of the cowboy and the extra-long lasso coiled up in his pants.
Eventually, it was over, and Zola, Katy and I sought refuge in a pizza slice shop opposite the bar to analyse our dates. We sat around a table, giggling over our evening, with a selection of slices scattered across it.
‘Well, I greenlit quite a few,’ Katy concluded.
Zola and I stared at one another in complete disbelief.
‘Katy,who? There was one, maybe two max, guys in there that I could secure any form of normal chat with,’ Zola said.
‘What!’ Katy looked shocked, pizza slice halfway to her mouth. ‘Well, there was Chad, he was cute, Rory, Bill, Adrian, and Leo was so sweet!’
‘Leo! Leo was a dirty old trouser snake pervert! And Adrian was a fucking stalker!’ I laughed, wondering if she was joking with us.
‘A convicted stalker at that,’ Zola added. ‘Honestly, I know Curtis is hard work, but at least he’s not a certified psycho! I’ll give you Chad, though, he was well cute.’
‘When do we find out who’s matched us?’ I asked Katy. I hadn’t greenlit any of the sad fuckers, but still, it would be nice to know who liked me.
‘Eleven,’ Katy announced. ‘We’ll get a text. But we only get told the ones who have liked us if we’ve liked them too.’
Zola huffed and sat back in her chair. ‘So, that was pointless then.’ She also hadn’t given anyone the green light.
There was a brief silence between us, then Katy said, ‘I was thinking maybe I should text Mason and clear the air.’
‘NO!’ Zola and I shouted across the table in unison. It was like a reflex. The few other people in the pizza shop turned to us with puzzled looks.
