Around five, the lift door pinged open, and I stretched my neck out to see a huge bunch of flowers arrive, swamping Otis, the doorman.
‘Jesus!’ I laughed. ‘Who are they for?’ I sat up, placing the laptop to the side.
‘Miss Ella,’ he raised a brow, with a kind smirk. ‘My shift just ended, so I thought I’d pop up with them.’ He passed me the flowers and grinned.
‘That was kind of you,’ I said, sniffing the vast array of flowers. ‘Want a drink or something to eat? You must be cold at that door all day.’ I put the flowers on the table and stood.
Otis leaned forward. ‘No, ma’am. It’s an honour.’ He smiled. ‘I was brought up in the roughest neighbourhood in this city. I feel grateful every damn day standing at that door. Hell, I hadn’t even seen a building this grand till I got here.’ He pointed to the floor and laughed.
‘Do you miss it?’ I asked. ‘Your old neighbourhood?’
Otis looked shocked, as if I’d asked a trick question. ‘Every damn day, but it ain’t like this. My life is better here, but you can never take away your past; you feel it in your soul. When someone asks me where I’m from, I say the Bronx, as proudly as I can. It shaped me, Miss Ella, you know?’
I grinned. ‘I get it,’ I said, thinking how much I missed home – the fresh cold air, the banter, the nightlife, the accents.
‘I’ll go now, but you enjoy those gorgeous flowers, now. There’s a message inside too.’ He waved and entered the lift.
I leaned over the flowers again, lifting the card-sized envelope, wondering if Jimmy had sent them after our early morning run. There was so much tension which remained between us, so much love. I knew I could feel it.
I ripped open the envelope and unfolded a letter. As my eyes scanned down the writing, my heart picked up the pace.
Dear Pilates,
I know you are probably reading this, wondering why I haven’t come up and said what I’m about to say to your face, but the truth is – you won’t allow me to! That’s not a criticism, it’s one of the things I adore about you. I know you’re already aware that I invested in the app, and it’s not by any means a play on you, but perhaps an apology for destroying something you worked so hard on. I also know this doesn’t make what I did any better, but I am trying. I’m sorry that I have hurt you, Ella. I moved on far too quickly, my ego was hurt, and I acted out of character.
But I know I want you, no one else, ever. We have enjoyed so many amazing memories together, so many inside jokes, and I can’t let any of that go. You opened up to me, let your guard down – finally – and I didn’t appreciate that. But now I do.
Please don’t be angry at the investment. I am trying to make things right. (And hopefully make some money out of it, if it’s as good as you promised.)
I’ll look forward to seeing you at the launch.
Always yours,
Philip
I scrunched up the letter, then let it drop to the floor. I felt my face grow warm as I tried to hold back the tears. I wasn’t sure why he kept pushing this. I let out a sob, remembering how we met, those first meetings, the first time we had sex; he was practically removing dust from my vagina, it had been so long. He made me glow again, made me feel sexy, until he didn’t. Slowly but surely, everything else piled up and I became less of a priority for Philip. I seemed to be the only one pouring everything into our relationship at the end, and he would simply waltz in when he felt like it and control exactly what we did and when we did it. But I didn’t feel like that with Jimmy. He pushed me to be better, encouraged me to grow. He asked me things, remembered what I liked and what I didn’t. I couldn’t help but think that maybe I was destined to meet Jimmy, just for a short time, to remind myself of the good men out there, to show me how love is supposed to feel. I curled up on the sofa and sobbed, full of sadness, for the two men I had to lose to get myself back.
Chapter Fifty-One
Zola
It was the evening of the launch party, and Zola, Katy and Ella had gotten ready in their most elegant dresses. Ella practically shone in a silver floor-length dress encrusted with tiny jewels and crystals, while Katy kept it more classic in a black floor-length number with a huge split up the leg. Zola had more trouble deciding, always keen to make a trend statement, and in the end, she opted for a puffy, Cinderella-style navy-blue gown with white gloves that came up to her elbows. The three friends sipped champagne, waiting for the car to arrive. Zola noticed Ella being particularly quiet, and she wasn’t sure if it was because Philip would be at the ball, or Jimmy would. The girls had booked their flights home to Glasgow the day before and had only twenty-four hours left in New York.
Zola raised her glass. ‘To New York. It’s been tough, full of tears, but it’s brought us closer.’
The three of them clinked their glasses together.
‘To Stars and Swipes,’ Katy added. ‘The app that’s going to change the world.’
They toasted again.
The intercom buzzed. Zola grinned. ‘This is it! Ready?’
Ella nodded, slightly zoned out.
‘Ethan’s going to be at the party!’ Katy said, suddenly energetic.
Zola swung her head around. ‘How do you know?’ she said, watching Katy reply.
