Chapter One
Ella
Three fucking days stood between us and New York. This was a city I’d fantasised about since my teenage years, when I was convinced that one day, I too would strut through Manhattan like Carrie Bradshaw in my designer heels, balancing love, career and friendship with a group of rich, overly moisturised men chasing me around with a classy cocktail in hand. In reality, my teen era was a long way from cosmopolitan chic. I mostly spent it wrapped in a hand-me-down Berghaus, courtesy of my cousin Andrew, clutching a bottle of Merrydown at the graveyard with the local neds, and the only people chasing me were the polis every other weekend. Carrie had couture, and I had cheap cider and a jacket that seriously stank of wet dog and Mayfair. (The cigarettes, not the classy London borough.) But now, finally, twenty years on, my fantasy was becoming a reality.
The Big Apple, the city where dreams come true, wallets go missing and everyone pretends not to notice the rats, was to host our most important meeting yet. Zola, Katy, and I had been summoned to Flirtify’s headquarters in Times Square to pitch The Dicktionary Club website to the board of one of America’s biggest tech companies. Some people go to New York to find themselves, but we were going to flog a website full of dicks, or rather, the dickish men who were ruining the dating scene. But, with only a few days left until we jetted off, we were stuck, confused and completely distracted.
I sighed again, aimlessly scanning through notes I’d written but I couldn’t seem to take anything in; the scent of burnt espresso and the aroma of restless ambition clung to the air around us. My laptop glowed beside the clatter of empty lipstick-stained cups and my thoughts were in a total shambles, my heart pounding with each anxious beat.
‘Have you mentioned anything to Philip yet?’ Zola asked, slurping her matcha and gazing at me over our Starbucks litter. That was the real secret that pressed against my chest. Not the pitch. Truthfully, I hadn’t given the pitch as much focus or attention as I knew it deserved.
‘Yeah, Ella, how did he take it? He must have been to New York a thousand times with his work,’ Katy added, scrolling through her phone.
‘I .?.?. er .?.?. I haven’t mentioned it to him yet. He’s been so busy, it hasn’t come up.’ I shrugged, knowing my friends could sense my apprehension.
‘Jesus Christ, Ella! What the fuck are you waiting for?’ Zola blurted.
What was I waiting for? Honestly, I wasn’t sure. The only thing The Dicktionary Club had brought into my life up until now was chaos, and, OK, enough money to pack in my job, start up our own PR company, and pay my mortgage for a good few months. But still, I couldn’t understand why I felt so anxious about telling Philip about the New York trip, but something had been stopping me. Maybe I was just trying my hardest to enjoy how nice things were between us before I dropped a giant fucking grenade in our path. I wasn’t sure how Philip would react. Things had been perfect since he forgave me for creating the alleged man-hating website that had nearly ended our relationship before it properly began – not to mention getting him plastered over a double-page spread in theDaily Record, slandering him as a self-centred womanising shagger, all thanks to me. Now that everything was settled between us again, I didn’t imagine Philip would be thrilled with me working on something tied to a project that had almost ruined his reputation, his career and our relationship. I couldn’t really be blamed for trying to keep the peace for as long as possible, could I?
‘I just know how much he hated The Dicktionary Club site to begin with, and I promised him it would never be part of our lives again. I know he disagrees with everything it stands for, and honestly, it doesn’t sit well with me either after everything that happened.’
When my words were met with silence, I glanced up from my laptop at the faces of my two friends and saw them trying hard not to smirk.
‘Guys, seriously? It’s not funny!’ I insisted, playfully slapping both their arms. ‘I can’t believe you’re laughing!’
Zola burst into giggles. ‘You know, it is a tiny bit funny. We caused so much turmoil.’
Katy finally put down her phone and joined in. ‘And drama! I live for the drama!’
I shook my head. ‘Exactly, it was awful! And we lost our jobs because of it.’
Zola paused, then let out a deep, evil cackle.
‘Zola!’ I gasped, but her laughter was infectious and I joined in, still feeling a weight of guilt in my chest.
‘Come on, losing that shitty job was the best thing to ever happen to us,’ Zola said, ‘but let’s face it – we need money right now. Finding PR jobs on our own is tough! I have seriously been considering googling the market for farting in jars. But if this meeting goes well, I won’t have to! We could make an absolute fortune. Plus, it’s New fucking York, Ella!’ she squealed.
‘Oh my God, I wonder what Tinder’s like over there!’ Katy’s eyes lit up. ‘I bet it’s full of fit blond guys with rock-hard abs!’
Zola shook her head. ‘Somehow, I doubt we’d be invited to pitch The Dicktionary Club if it were. I think the Americans have the same problem as we do .?.?. The Yanks’ dating scene is full of wanks.’
‘That’s actually a catchy name for the new US website if we have to rebrand,’ I added. ‘Wanks versus Yanks!’
‘Or the Yankee Wank Tank?’ Katy suggested.
‘Wankee Doodle Dandy,’ added Zola.
We laughed together, then went back to looking over our notes, making an effort to take our business seriously.
‘How did Curtis take the news about New York?’ I asked Zola, knowing things had been rocky with her and her fiancé since she was finger-blasted down Ashton Lane by a Spanish hottie she’d met through The Dicktionary Club.
Zola paused, then shrugged. ‘I didn’t give him the opportunity to have an opinion. I told him I was going to New York with the girls, and he grunted.’
Katy smiled sarcastically. ‘You guys really make relationships seem so worthwhile. I seriously can’t wait to meet the one.’
‘Oh, come on! There’s no such thing!’ Zola shook her head. ‘But, El, we need you to be fully committed to this. It’s a life-changing opportunity, and we fucking deserve this, OK? When we created that website, something told me to copyright it for a reason! And yes, shit went down in our personal lives, but clearly it’s more than a good idea if the Americans want to use it! We have to revisit this, give it our all, then really run with the idea. Get your head in the game!’ She flicked her long braids. ‘Come on, seriously, what happened to that big ball-buster, taking-no-shit-from-any-man-ever Ella? You’ve changed, girl. Tell Philip you’re going to New York and be done with it.’
I sighed, ‘I have not! I’m still the same. Maybe I’m just a bit more conscious about not pissing off my man! Look, I am going to tell him, and I’m sure he’ll be fine.’ I shrugged it off, but inside my stomach churned with dread.
