Because I’m in love with you.
“Because I was sick.” Even as the words slipped out, they tasted false, the deflection of a coward. Which—was I? Maybe. Always holding back, there but not really. It wasn’t Travis who’d chosen that as his parting shot, but Ken. “It’s like you’re already halfway out the door, on to the next thing. So just…good luck with that.”I didn’t fall, just entertained the idea from afar, confusing companionship with something deeper. Until Jesse.
Who pressed his lips together, glancing away and then back at me. “Right.”
He looked hurt but unsurprised, and—ah, dammit. The ache behind my ribs cut with sharp immediacy, impossible to ignore. I took a breath. “Jesse.”
One of his eyebrows lifted in a silent question.
“I’d have wanted you to stay if I’d been healthy, too. I just wouldn’t have asked.”
His gaze softened, something vulnerable tucked into the curve of his mouth. “Because it’s a bad idea.”
I exhaled. “It is.”
He nodded, and another pause stretched between us. A nurse marched past with the brisk air of someone who had places to be, turning a corner like a Formula One car changing course. I pulled on the collar of my scrubs top, too warm under Jesse’s attention.
“Can I…” He stopped abruptly, a sentence stripped of its destination.
Something lodged sideways in my throat. “What?” I asked, barely above a whisper.
“Have lunch with me?” The instant it was out, his brows drew together as if he’d surprised himself. My idiot heart pounded a silly rhythm against my ribs.
“It’s ten thirty,” I managed.
“I didn’t mean now. And certainly nothere.” His lips twitched into something I couldn’t quite place. “We could get out of the city? Do a hike, pack a picnic, spend a day in the forest.”
“Like…” Lightning crackled under my skin. “Like a date?”
He held my gaze, simple and direct—as if now that he’d taken the plunge, it was easy to be brave. “Yeah. Exactly like that.”
Jesus. I swallowed, and God, yes. Fresh air and quiet woods,Jesse. A taste of what we couldn’t have.
It would make it harder. So much harder.
“I…” I flicked a glance down the hallway, instinctive. “What if someone sees us?”
His expression smoothed out further, eyes thoughtful—hopeful. “That’s not a no.”
“No. It’s not.” My lips quirked despite myself, insides vibrating like the tuning of a guitar. “But what if?”
He shifted closer, still cautious, shoulders hunched slightly toward me. “Just friends. Two country boys, trying to get out of the city. Nothing to see here.”
“So keep it secret.” That’s what Neil had said, and I’d told him that Jesse would hate it—lying, going behind people’s backs. That Jesse now tossed it out just like this, like I was worth it…
“You’d lie? For…”Me. Us.The words caught in my throat, snagging on nothing.
“I already have.” The briefest hint of unease showed in his tone, then he drew a breath and smiled, slightly lopsided. “And I want…not dinner. Not a drink either. We both know how that ends with us.” Humor twitched around one side of his mouth and faded. “I just want to spend some time with you. Talk. Get to know each other outside of”—he waved at our general surroundings—“this.”
“Or the bedroom,” I said, voice low.
“Or that.” His eyes sparked with mischief, and it reminded me of the night we’d met, how instantly I’d been drawn to him.Because he was hot, yes—but also because of how he’d made me feel light and daring, like we shared a joke the rest of the world just didn’t get.
“A date,” I murmured, testing it.
“Yeah.” He was watching me, still with that brightness tucked into his features. “Seems we’ve been doing this whole thing kind of backward, so maybe—you know. Let’s fix that. If you want.”
I did, God.
