I’d pointed out Tay as soon as I’d spotted him across the cafeteria. Now I wished I hadn’t. “Yes,” I said, trying to focus past a tapestry of interwoven sounds. “Please stop staring.”
“But he’s hot,” she said. “Why do you always get the hot ones? It just isn’t fair.”
“Friendly reminder that you already have a boyfriend,” I said. “He’s sitting right here.”
Khai, seeming half-asleep over his equally wilted salad, raised his hand for a foggy wave. “Hi.”
“Just aimless window shopping, babe,” she told him around a bite of soggy rice they’d advertised as chicken curry with fresh greens. They were about as fresh as I felt six hours into my twenty-four-hour shift, breath whistling in my chest, head a little dizzy. The cafeteria’s noise grated—sharp and unfiltered, clattering trays and overlapping conversations, my stomach churning at the smell of someone’s fish fingers one table over.
“Huh,” Khai said, sounding a hint curious but mostly still sleepy.
“What?” Tessa asked.
“Finn’s supervising fellow is sitting with Dr. Hollis.”
I glanced over, just quickly, and found Tay mid-laugh with a guy in his early or maybe mid-thirties, attractive, with sharp cheekbones. “That’s Dr. Hollis?” I asked. “He’s the scary CT attending, right?”
“Not scary, no. Just…intense. Like, I’m not sure he understands the concept of imperfection. That’s for mere mortals, y’know?” Khai snorted. “Nearly fell out of my chair yesterday when he addressed me by name. Didn’t think he even knew.”
“Sounds like the polar opposite of your Tay,” Tessa told me.
I shook my head with an amused huff, brain sloshing slightly against my skull. “Nothing ‘my’ about him.”
“Uh, yeah. Better not.” Khai’s eyebrows rose, mouth curling up at the corners. “Don’t see you fighting Dr. Hollis and winning.”
“Fighting Dr. Hollis?” I checked on Tay again, and—oh. He and Dr. Hollis had linked hands across the table. Nothing flashy about it, just easy, simple intimacy that didn’t need to hide.
“Cute,” Tessa said as if it wasn’t something that made my world tilt just a little. This was… Tay was dating an attending? A first-year fellow dating an attending. Different specialties, though. Both already much more senior than I was, far more progressed in their careers, reputations firmly built. So…
Allowed.
I swallowed against the raw ache in my throat.
“Guess opposites really do attract,” Khai commented.
I tried for a smile to mask the tightness in my chest and lungs, nodding at him and Tessa. “Case in point.”
“I’ve no idea what you mean.” She tipped up her chin and affected a haughty expression. “Just like Khai, I am the very epitome of subtle restraint.”
“You’re as subtle as a heart attack,” Khai told her, his smile so fond it bordered on nauseating. Or maybe that was just my general state today. I laughed anyway, too raspy, and Tessa must have noticed because she turned a frown on me.
“Are you okay? You sound sick.”
“Just a minor cold,” I told her. “I’m fine, really.”
I was still telling myself that when Tay found me later for his routine check-in. “Feel better today?” he asked, grin even wider than usual. No need to put a damper on his cheer.
“Loads,” I lied, stifling the beginnings of a cough.
“Brilliant.” He looked genuinely pleased. “So. Interesting thing of the day?”
It was none of my business. But… “That you’re dating an attending?” I offered, not sure why I’d turned it into a question.
“Yeah.” His expression sharpened just enough that I noticed. “Not a problem, is it?”
“What? No.” Jesus, did he think I had a problem with…what? The hierarchy part? The gay thing? I guess I hadn’t exactly told him which way I swung. “I’m gay myself, if that’s what you meant. And it’s more… I’m curious. Like, did you meet during your residency rotation?”
Oh, look, here’s a mouth. Let’s put a foot in it!
