There’s silence down the line.
“Hattie?”
“Yeah, I heard you. Is Mike there?”
“No!God.No.”
“Shit. I thought you’d gotten back together for a second there. So, who were you with?”
I frown. “I actually can’t tell you.”
“Ok…?”
“But it was a man.”
“Ok,” she says, lighter. “And?”
“And I have complicated feelings about him. I want you to tell me that’s insane.”
Hattie laughs. “Why?”
“Because Mike—”
“Betrayed you, Sara. Mike betrayed you. You don’t owe him anything.”
“I know but—”
“Oh, you really thought I was going to tell you to rein it in, didn’t you? Do you evenknowme?”
“I—”
“Is he hot?”
“He’s…yeah. He’s hot. But more importantly, he’s charming and funny. I’ve enjoyed spending time with him. Even in the crazy circumstances.”
There’s a crackle down the line as if Hattie has taken a seat. “Go for it. Fuck his brains out.”
“Hattie!”
“Hey, you’d tell me to do the same. If he’s up for it and you’re two consenting adults, then I say do it. Make him your rebound.”
“No.”
She laughs again. “Why are you calling me then? If not for permission to be reckless.”
“I haven’t been reckless in years and I was tougher skinned back then. I was open to heartbreak. Fuck, I actively wanted it sometimes. I enjoyed the pain and excitement it brought me, but life has knocked me down. I can’t do that now.”
“Ok, then don’t. Just flirt a little.”
I groan into my palm. She doesn’t understand, becauseshe doesn’t know what I’m dealing with. I can hardly tell her who he is, because I know she is aware of Just4Summer. And that will lead to a whole other line of questioning.
I don’t know what to say so I just close my eyes and breathe.
“If this guy is flirty and funny and encouraging you to be silly, then let him. Let him energise you. What’s the worst that can happen?”
“It could never work.”
“How do you know?”
