He looks at our hands, entwined. “But… I don’t know if you want the drama that comes with…me.”
“With you? With being your friend?”
He stops in the middle of a quiet street, moonlight reflecting off the warm tarmac and touches his heart. “You’re my friend?”
I burst out laughing, pushing him in the chest with my spare hand. “Shut up!” I step past him, dragging him with meto keep the conversation going. “What kind of friendships did you have with the other band members before it all blew up?”
“Oh, we were thick as thieves. In fact, we actually did rob up the local farm shop when we were fourteen.”
“What?No,” I say, my tone laced with doubt.
He nods. “Got away with an apple each and a stick of celery.”
“Animals.”
“When Will’s mam found out she marched us back down there to apologise and pay them back. Terrifying woman.”
“Do you miss those days?”
Gus sighs. “I miss feeling like we were unstoppable. Like our friendship was unshakeable. Unfortunately, the industry has a way of tearing that kind of thing apart.”
We’re quiet as we pass a group of young adults heading towards a street of bars and clubs, one of whom takes a good long look at Gus. We hasten our pace until we’ve turned a corner and there doesn’t seem to be anyone following us.
“Tell me something,” he says after a moment.
“What’s that?”
“Why did a woman like you want to get married anyway?”
I groan. “It’s embarrassing.”
“Well, now you have to tell me or I’ll go insane trying to figure it out.”
I sigh. “My parents were so in love,” I say. “My dad committed to mum for life. I haven’t seen him date another woman since. She was his world. I guess that was my inspiration. And, besides, I’m a modern girl, I don’t want marriage in the old-fashioned sense. I can support myself.”
“I’m waiting for the embarrassing part…”
“I want the emotional stability. I want the part where someone is going to stand before me, in front of all my family and friends, and say they want to live the rest of their life with me, for better or worse. All of it.”
Gus gives me a disbelieving glance. “And that’s embarrassing to you?”
“It’ssoppy. But I like contracts. I like how you can have everything written down and guaranteed. To me, marriage is a contract.” I shrug, keeping my eyes lowered, unwilling to find out whether I’m being judged for my vulnerability.
“I don’t think that’s embarrassing. I think that’s pretty romantic.”
I shake my head. “It’s soppy,” I correct him. “There was so much instability in my childhood. My dad was great and I love him to pieces but he wasn’t the kind of man you could cry on. He was too broken himself.” We’ve slowed down again. I can see the ivy-strewn street where Cole lives up ahead. It’s like we’re both trying to drag this walk out.
“I guess what I’m saying, is I want stability. Or at least I did. Now, I’m not so sure. I feel like I dodged a bullet with Mike and that’s a scary thought to have.”
“You trusted your instincts. That’s impressive. Not everyone trusts themselves enough to do that.”
I swallow. “I almost didn’t.”
We reach the wall outside Cole’s villa, a path of moonlight stretching almost all the way back up the street. I pause, leaning my shoulders against it and watch Gus who’s more than happy to wait out here too. It’s quiet, almost serene – the sound of the city a quiet backdrop. I cross my arms and stare at my feet. “You know, sometimes I wish I had a big sister.”
“I could be your big sister,” Gus offers. I can’t help but laugh, glancing back at him to see that familiar glint in his eye.
I twist my lips. “No.”
