I should step away. Stop whatever trance he has me in. I’m not the sort of girl to buckle at a single compliment, but it’s the way he’s leaning in, slowly taking stock of my face. No one, including Mike, has looked at me like that inyears.
He steps closer, raises his hand, gently running his fingers down the edge of my jaw, lifting my chin towards him.There’s a buzzing in my ears, like my blood is rushing too fast, my heartbeat in my throat.
Are we…
A horn blares.
It’s so loud I slap my hands over my ears and crouch down.
When I look up, Gus is laughing. He points at the culprit. I follow his hand to Roko at the wheel, doing that toothy smile again, clearly very amused. Alright, maybe he is the joker Gus clocked him to be.
“On that note,” I say, my face hot with embarrassment. “I’m going to walk away now.”
EighteenCruise Location – At SeaNext Port – TaorminaTime of Arrival – 10:00 (GMT+1)
“Is this normal?” I ask from the cabin several hours later, gripping hold of the screwed down table like it’s my own personal anchor. “This doesn’tfeelnormal.”
“Let me go check,” Gus calls back over the roar of the waves, crashing against the side of the boat. I’m practically green now we’ve hit open ocean, leaving the more timid waters of the bay behind. I don’t generally get motion sickness, but this is another level. The boat is jumping waves. The front, where I’m sat, is being thrust upwards, pausing for half a second, only for it to come slamming back down, my tummy swooping, those prawns climbing ever higher up my throat. I would scramble towards the toilet beside the kitchen but, honestly, I’m afraid of what I’ll find.
Through the small window opposite me there’s a flash of light. I count slowly to work out how far away we are from the eye of the storm, only to make it to three before a booming clap of thunder crashes overhead.
All I know is that one moment I’m conscious of my movements, aware of my surroundings. The next, all I canprocess is how tightly I can grip hold of the things within my reach.
The lights in the cabin flicker then shut off completely. There’s a long and vicious growl which could be attributed to the engine, more thunder, or something even worse. Either way, I pinch my eyes closed and make silent pleas to the universe that I don’t die at the hands of Roko and his rusty fishing boat.
I’m sure there are more flashes of light. At one point, it’s so bright my eyelids turn pink. I have no idea how long I’m like this before large, warm hands squeeze my arms. Strong legs link with mine under the table, grounding me further.
“Gus?” I whisper.
“I’ve got you, Sara. Roko isn’t worried. He says we’re ok. It’s ok.”
More thunder. More crashing downwards after riding a wave, the boat completely at the sea’s mercy.
I change my grip, releasing the table and finding Gus instead, my head pressing into the warm groove of his shoulder. He continues to hold me, rubbing soothing circles over my back.
“Distract me,” I say. “Tell me something.”
I can feel Gus’s pulse against my cheek. Curls run along my arm wrapped around his neck.
“Did you hear when Grace asked whether I wanted the news?”
I nod against his chest.
He exhales softly, trying to calm his own breathing too. “The band is almost definitely breaking up without me. It’s why I had to get away from it all. We finished the world tour back in March and it ended on crap terms. We used tobe like brothers, you know? But after all this time, it’s like I barely know them anymore.” The boat pitches forward before rocking back again, rain clapping against the deck so aggressively it sounds like needles. I tighten my grip on Gus and he lets me. “This whole thing was meant to be just for the summer, twelve years ago. Just four mates messing around with guitars and some cover songs at a summer fair.” He readjusts himself, not letting go. He smellsreallygood. “You ok, Sara?”
I grumble in response.
“I know it’s a cop out but I just… I had to get away.”
I’m more intrigued by this distraction than I care to admit. “And why are you breaking up?”
He takes a moment to consider. “I’m told this is the natural order of things. That we had a good run, went on longer than was good for our careers. That, in the end, the others were always going to go on and do different things with their lives.”
“Like what?”
Gus shrugs. “Will has his daughter, Olive. Her mother is rarely around, so he’s just trying to be the best dad he can be. Callum’s uncle died a few months ago and he inherited a farm park that he needs to fix or sell or… I don’t know. He stopped talking to me properly ages ago. Same with Will.” He pauses as the boat sputters violently. “The two of them had this big fight over their own fucking egos and then I was torn between them.”
“What about the other guy?”
