Oh, yeah –that.
The honeymoon.
It’s been lingering in the back of my mind since I ran like a small puddle of grief. I dip my toes in from time to time and let myself cry about it. Not helped by the fact that it was planned for two months after our non-wedding because Icouldn’t take the additional time off in May. So, the sorrow has lingered. Obviously, I can’t go on my honeymoon. That would be… I allow myself to consider it again and almost sputter out a laugh.
What would I even say?
Oh hi, it’s actually just the one of us now. Merry old me, all alone. The bride who did a runner and is now taking the non-refundable, all-inclusive honeymoon cruise of a lifetime. Alone. Betrayed and heartbroken. Pfft. As if.
“So youdidhit your head,” Millie scoffs. “Your flight to Venice, obviously!”
“Why are you going through my phone?” I snap.
She makes a face and shrugs. “I’m your sister. Besides, you were unconscious. Also Abby made a note of your holiday in her diary. She thought you’d bail. Not sure why it’s me who has to do the flyby visit to check in. Just because I’m the youngest and live in the same street, doesn’t mean I’m not also important and busy. I have a boutique shoe shop to run.”
“Millie, honestly…”
“I brought you a coffee,” she points out again to distract me, handing me a reusable cup that I recognise from the café across the road. It’s good stuff at least.
I eye her suspiciously as I take a long sip, feeling the warm kick working its way through my blood stream. “What do you want?”
She pouts and quirks her head. “Other than for you to have a shower?”
I narrow my eyes.
“Look, you weren’t answering your phone, so Dad and Abby sent me round to check on you. Check you’re packed.Taxi booked, et cetera. You’ve been so distant and moody recently.”
“As always, Mills, you’re a treat to hang out with.”
She grins with mirth. “Thanks.” I give her a look, silence stretching between us.
There’s a part of me that wants to reveal all. Especially to my sisters. I feel like they’d at least listen, if only to soak up the drama, but then I think about how to explain it and the words get jammed in my throat. Besides, I don’t want to burden them with my problems, knowing they’ve all got plenty of their own stuff going on.
Sure, people, colleagues, friends, they’ve been curious. Hattie, for example, knows me well enough to step around the hard parts and squeeze out smaller truths first. Which is why I’ve done a stellar job of avoiding her.
I’m ashamed to admit that I’m embarrassed about how he betrayed me. It feels like I did something wrong too. I wasn’t paying enough attention. Besides, what’s the point of talking about it now? I’ve left him. It’s over. Move on.
“Look, do you want me to help you pack or not? Judging by the state you’re in, you’ll need all the help you can get.”
“Ugh, no. I’m not going.”
“What?Why not?”
“Because I’m not going,” I repeat slowly. “You know, on my honeymoon, seeing as I’m notactuallymarried.”
“So?!”
I scoff, staring at her in disbelief. “So, that would be insane. You know, since I don’t have ahusband.” I run a hand through my hair. Ah hell, that’s greasy.
As if she can read my mind, Millie cringes, mirroring my expression. “I don’t understand,” she says.
“Tell me what’s stumping you and I’ll try to walk you through it.”
“You’re telling me you’re not going on the trip of your dreams because you don’t have a husband?”
“Hmm, now that you put it like that. Yes. That is correct.”
“What?No. What?”
