I swallow. “Stop figuring me out. It’s annoying.”
He steps closer. “What can I do to reassure you?”
I wrap my arms around myself. “I think the thought of being with you, of the scrutiny, issoterrifying that I’ve tried to put you out of my mind. But I miss you. I miss your smile, your energy, your laugh. I miss it all. I want to be around you.”
“Sara—”
“Let me get this out,” I put a hand up, making him wait. “I want to try. Because I think if I play this safe, I’ll never forgive myself, even it does eventually break my heart.”
His smile broadens. He dials a number on his phone. “Yeah. Go home,” he says. He hangs up, places his phone down then before I can gather my thoughts, my back is pressed against the wall.
The adrenaline hits me so fast, I lose all train of thought.
His hands work through my hair, lips crushing mine as we gasp into each other. It starts out calmly, until one nip here, one scratch there, and suddenly my legs are wrapped around his waist and he’s running his hands up under my pyjama top.
“Wait,” he breathes, dropping me back to the floor. “Wait. We haven’t talked this out. I just. I had to kiss you. Itnearly killed me earlier, having you that close and not being able to touch you.”
“I felt the same. I’ve been so in my head about this. About us. I’m just so scared I’m not strong enough to handle all that comes with being with you.”
“And I hear your concerns. They’re mine too. But you’re selling yourself short. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. You’ve dealt with so much and yet your focus and dedication to the people you love is so wildly beyond anything a weak person could offer. You have to know that.”
There are tears in my eyes that I blink away. “It doesn’t feel that way, but what Idoknow, after not seeing you, is that I very much don’t want to do that again. I missed you, Gus. I missed you in a really embarrassing, totally insensible way.”
“Please can we practise at you being mine?”
“Gus, Iamyours.”
He brushes his nose against mine, kisses me deep and slow. “You were right, by the way,” he murmurs.
“About what?”
“About the contract. Today was the last time I represent the label. The last time I’m Gus from Just4Summer.”
I gasp. “What happened?”
“My agent didn’t have my best interests at heart. I had this massive bust up with Will and Callum at the conference. I was so tired of them shrugging this all off their shoulders without any consequences. Turns out they’d switched to a new agency. They have lawyers on the case. And so, I’ve done the same.” He breathes out, a smile consuming his lips. “I’m free of it. I can do whatever I want to do now.”
“What will you do?”
He laughs, his hands squeezing my buttocks. “You, I guess.”
“Shut up. Be serious.”
“I am.”
“Gus.”
“But that’s the beauty of all this. I don’t have to decide just yet. I can write music. I can sign with another label, maybe. I’m free. Maybe for now, I need this time to review me. Who I am. What I want from life. I’ve barely had any time to do that free of other people’s opinions and directions.”
“I’m so happy for you,” I say, running one hand over his face and through his curls, tugging gently at the back of his head so I have free access to gorgeous throat.
Our lips graze once, twice, then before I know it we’re all hands and teeth and lips and wanton sounds. I’m not subtle about my needs, unbuttoning his shorts and taking him into my hand, hot and smooth.
He groans and it tastes like lust. If only I could bottle it.
We scramble backwards towards my room. I guide Gus through the dark to the bed where he sits on the edge and pulls me to him.
“If we’re doing this, I need to grab a…”
