The chemistry between us – he’d have had that with anyone.
I have to believe it or I’ll go insane.
The weekends are the worst, when things are too quiet in my apartment. So, this week I call my sisters over for lunch, since they all live in Brighton too, because I want a distraction and some company.
I know Millie will come for free food.
Abby is too kind to say no.
And Gemma won’t want to be left out if we’re all here without her.
When they arrive, we sit around the breakfast bar, tucking into the roast dinner I’ve served them.
“There’s no way you cooked this,” Gemma accuses, pointing her fork in my direction. “Do you even know how to use that oven?”
“Excuse me!” I scoff. “Icancook.”
“Yeah.Sure. But she didn’t,” Abby interjects.
I faux gasp at her, surprised she can stoop so low.
She laughs, mouth half-full. “Sara, the Deliveroo man was leaving as I was walking down the street. And besides, the oven is still cold, and the takeout containers are in the bin.”
I take a sip of my drink. “Well, bugger.”
They all find this very funny. It’s in a moment of quiet afterwards when we have our mouths full that I realise Millie is blasting music from her phone and Just4Summer are playing. I roll my eyes. It’s the song about hot summers that go on and on and on. It’s annoyingly good and I can’t believe I didn’t discover them before.
I don’t bring this up, however. The subject matter feels too close to the bone.Still.
Instead, I ask about my sisters. They tell me what they’ve been up to over the last few weeks, but I swear they keep glancing at each other, like there’s something happening here I’m not privy too. As the eldest sister, I’m immediately suspicious.
And to make matters worse, the music just keeps switching to more J4S songs. In fact, this is their Best Of playlist on Spotify. I should know, I’ve listened to it enough at this point. It almost seems deliberate, but I can’t imagine why it would be.
It’s just that Gus’s voice seems to reverberate right through me, right to my core. I’m losing my appetite and there’s apple crumble and custard for dessert.
Dammit.
Gemma scoffs whilst reading something on her phone and I look up to find them all typing away.Are they using the group chat that I’m not in?
“Alright. What’s going on?” I demand.
Millie glares at Abby. Gemma groans at Millie. Abby sighs defeatedly.
“Seriously. What am I missing?”
“I’m just going to say it,” Millie blurts out, raising her hands.
“No,” Abby says. “Let her come to it on her own. When she’s ready.”
“She’s never going to do that, Abby. She doesn’t share things with us. She never has.”
“What?” I mumble.
Millie shrugs. “You think you’re better than us and it shows.”
“I… don’t…” I say, shaking my head slowly, entirely confused.
“It’s actually kind of disrespectful at this point.” Gemma puts her fork down and gives me a reproachful stare.
