After a moment, he continues, “And besides, you’re only marketing. You don’t mind working on your salaries. My team require bonuses for motivation.”
“Isn’t selling their job? Like marketing is ours?” I ask through the last shreds of my cheek muscles.
James gives me one of those oh-you-poor-thing expressions, wrinkling his nose. “You don’t understand how this works.”
I laugh, frustration lacing the sound. “Although I appreciate your concern about my understanding, sales are in constant need of financial incentive. Their motivation levels are lacking, and it may be time for their leader to look inwardly at this challenge. They’ve already hit their bonuses. Why do they need toexceedthem?”
James turns back to Michael again as if I haven’t even made an iota of a point. I notice I’m clenching and unclenching my fist on the table. The line between professional behaviour and physical violence is sometimes scarily thin.
“The profit target has been met. Sales can exceed it. Let us do this. It will look so,sogood to the board. You know it too. Rajesh has already endorsed my idea. The kitchens can be extended. The furniture can be hired. It’s all ready to go.”
“No, no, no…” I say, leaning in towards our leader too. “What about our clientele? We can’t just let them down. I thought your vision, Michael, was to bring joy to local communities. If we continue to remove affordable options in lieu of expensive corporate stuff how does that impact our long-term goals?”
“Our long-term goals don’t mean shit unless we’re driving a steady profit,” James retorts.
“Which we are…”
“No thanks to Marketing. You’ll find the real profit is achieved through Sales.”
“Which is consistently supported by Marketing,” I grin, but my teeth are set together.
“Entirely against the point. That is the purpose of your department.”
“As is Sales to… erm… What is their role again?” I make a show of tapping my chin. “Oh yes, that’s it.To. Sell.”
Gloatman is giving me his full attention now, nervous energy seeping from his pores. Maybe it’s the way he’s gripping his pen. I have a feeling he’s already committed to his idea. I have a feeling he’s already sold some of the tables. I have a feeling he’s not going to let this one slide.
Well, hard luck for him. Neither am I! We stare each other down as if the other might crack.
“I see this is quite the debate,” Michael intercedes. “I support both your points of view here. You make very strong arguments. As you know, I like to be led by my team, and if Fiona is in support of Fliss, then it means we are split down the middle.”
We all turn to Fiona for her wide-eyed nod of confirmation. She’s an angel. Always has my back. I’m convinced I hear James curse in response.
Michael is no longer smiling but watching us with a worried expression. At some point during the discussion, he’s rolled his shirt sleeves up, and I notice his arms are completely hairless.
Vampire…
“I think the whole team needs a break,” he says calmly. “A nice corporate away day to boost morale and rejuvenate.”
Oh, absolutely not. We’re three weeks out from an event. There’s so much to do. He’s done this before, dragging us to some random event in Paris for a “learning experience”, and it was a nightmare. I ended up working through a whole night to get everything done.
“No. No, it’s fine—” I say, as James says, “I would advise against—”
Michael holds up a hand. “I think weallneed a break.” He smiles again in his unnerving way. “You are my team. I can’t have you disagreeing like this. I will make a decision about James’ idea after our… away day.” He nods to himself as if he’s having his own internal discussion about this. “Yes. I think some team building will be good for all of us. An adventure. Somewhere different… Yes. Somewhere but nowhere.”
“We really need a quick decision,” James pipes up.
He’s silenced with a calm but stern expression. “No decisions should be made in such a rushed way my fearless leaders. You require time to choose wisely.”
James opens his mouth to object again, but Michael goes on. “Don’t worry. I think we should go away imminently. Clear your calendars for the rest of the week. No exceptions. I’ll let you know the details by end of play today. Team dismissed.”
Chapter Two
There’s a whiteboard by our flat’s front door with a list of problems on it. Our landlady is supposed to come around to fix them but we have only met her once when she moved us in five years ago. The biggest, most critical issue is the hole in the floorboard in the hallway, large enough to drop a shoe down. That has been on the list for three years. There’s a sorry-looking corn plant covering it, with a red bauble dangling from the top leaf. Our rendition of a Christmas tree. But it is now May, and nobody has bothered to move it. The mould in Jen’s room is home to three slugs. The window in the loo doesn’t shut, and we have a worrying crack across the ceiling in the living area.
Our three-bed flat is home to five fully grown adults because there are two couples living here. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal, but they share some of the overall rent, so I work very hard to pretend not to notice.
The kitchen is one and a half metres wide. There is only one tray in the oven. The sink is rusty. The fruit bowl is full of random things nobody will claim as their own: an out-of-date condom, a random key, a dead fly and a half-used pack of Kleenex. No fruit.
