“It’s fine. Mum always talks about how she wasted her younger years raising me and looking after Dad. And then my dad’s out there making all these terrible decisions all the time and I don’t know how to stop either of them. It’s maddening.
“Also, they tell everyone I’m this big, successful businesswoman in the city. It’s lovely but also,it’s so much pressure. I see how happy it makes them and I can’t stop myself from pushing forwards. And don’t get me started about parental responsibilities of only children. I think about this a lot, but what happens when they get old? Where do I put them? They hate each other. I can’t have them in the same house. But I want to look after and provide for them both.”
I take a deep breath. That felt good to say out loud.
“That sounds hard,” James says. “I’m sure they’ll be proud of you, whatever you did. And clearly, nothing about their marriage or divorce was about you, no matter what they said. I’m sure they don’t blame you at all. Have you asked them?”
“Please don’t be so pragmatic,” I laugh. “Let me be insane about this.”
He chuckles too. “Ok, ok. Do they live near to London?”
“Near-ish,” I say. “I grew up in Sussex. Down by the coast. They both still live in the area, but separately, of course.”
“I’m sorry… I don’t have any advice.”
“That’s ok. I didn’t ask for it.” I suddenly feel embarrassed.
James puckers his lips in agreement. “You’re right. This is a moan fest. Not a problem-fixing session.”
“I’m cool with that.”
He shuffles beside me, takes another sip of vodka then hands it back. “Right, second thing… The rumours are true.”
“What rumours?”
James frowns. “How many are there?”
“Quite a few.”
“I slept with a client.”
I open my mouth like a dead fish, staring into the flames growing in height. I can’t believe what he’s just said. There’s no way. No! He wouldn’t. “You didn’t.”
He laughs at my reaction. “I did.”
“Who!?”
“Mrs Horley from Copper & Steel International.”
“Sara?But she’s like…”
“Forty-nine. Got an invite to her fiftieth birthday party the other day.”
I gasp. “Oh my god… are you still…?”
James snorts and shakes his head. “Nah. It’s been over for a while. She doesn’t like to keep a toyboy for too long. Apparently, they get clingy. She was really nice though. We had some fun. She took me to Santorini for a long weekend. Felt like a prince.”
“Shut. Up.No. I refuse to believe this. When did you go to Santorini with a client? And, wait, what if Michael had found out?”
He gives me one of those patronising looks again. I swear he thinks he’s dealing with a child. It’s like I’m completely innocent and he’s this worldly being who’s harboured all this incredible knowledge. “Michael knew. He knew the whole time. Sara told him.”
Something hard forms in the pit of my stomach. A hot rage washes over me. “No.”
James shrugs. “It wasn’t a big deal, really. It was just sex.”
“It isneverjust sex. Never ever.”
“I promise you; it was. It depends how you’re doing it. But let me guess, you’ll only have sex with a guy after three dates or something?”
