“Last I heard you were running the whole operation over there,” I continued. “Well, if you’re so big and important to the organization, why the fuck are you sleeping on my couch? Why the fuck are you kissing Nikita’s ass when you could go back to fucking Paris andbehim?”
“Fuck you,” he said and looked away again.
“Unless you can’t go back.” I closed the distance between us. “Unless this Étienne fucker is sitting on my brother’s throne, pretending to keep it warm, while usurping it out from under him. And for what? What is it, Niko? How’d you get here? Saw a pretty face and couldn’t see the knife coming for your throat?”
That got him. His eyes snapped back to mine. “Fuck. You.”
“I’m right, aren’t I? That’s why you’re here.” I almost laughed. “All this talk and you’re here hiding like acowardbecause you couldn’t keep your dick in your—”
I didn’t see the punch coming, but I sure as hell felt it when his fist connected with my cheek. My head snapped to the side, and I staggered back. I half expected him to keep coming, but insteadhe stood there, breathing hard, fists clenched, eyes watering like a toddler who’d been put in time out.
I rubbed the sore spot on my cheek. “You’re just like him, you know. You know what the last fucking thing I said to him was before he ate a fucking bullet? I called him a coward, too. Called him a womanizing bastard. He hit me too. And then he fucking got shot by some… some…”
Niko’s face softened. “Aleksi…”
“No. Shut up.” I shoved him and he let me, so I grabbed him by the robe and held him. “I don’t give a fuck who Étienne is or what you think he’s doing for you. If that fucker ever shows his face here, I’ll fucking kill him. Do you understand? I’ll kill him.”
Niko closed his eyes. “Aleksi, the man who shot our papa is already dead. River saw to it. You cannot kill a ghost.”
I released him, and he stumbled back a step. “Screw you, Niko. You can be stupid if you want. I’m not going to save you this time.”
I walked out of the kitchen and didn’t look back.
The hallway was cold. The bedroom door was open the way I'd left it.
Fin was on his side, facing the door, blanket pulled up to his ribs, eyes already on me when I walked in. He pushed up when he saw me. “Christ, that’ll be a shiner. Tell me ye at least earned that one.”
“Probably,” I muttered and went to set the plate and cup on the nightstand. "He's an idiot," I said, getting back into bed.
"Aye, that's a given. What did the idiot do?"
"He's on the lam from Paris. Some asshole back home has him convinced he’s taking care of business for him, but he’s not. That Étienne fucker he was on the phone with is screwing him. I know it, Fin. My brother’s a sap for a man who gaslit him and worked him over. Just like my pop. He falls in love and he can’t see it’s going to get him killed."
Fin picked up the juice and chugged it. I watched his throat move and tried to forget about Niko. When he was finished, he set the glass aside and turned to me. “Yer not yer brother’s keeper, Aleksi Laskin.”
“Half,” I corrected. “He’s my half-brother.”
“Aye, and yer no your half-brother’s keeper either.”
“I just…” My fingers closed over his maimed hand. “I don’t want to watch anyone in my family die over something stupid.”
“Ye think love is stupid?”
I met his eyes briefly before rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling. “I think it makes good men make stupid choices. Like what I did with Pavel.”
He could’ve said it then. So could I. Part of me wanted to put those three little words out into the world, but I couldn’t. Not yet. Not until they meant something. My pop had been liberal with his love, passing it around like candy at Halloween, and now Niko was probably going to die doing something stupid because he’d loved someone. I’d watched my cousins all fall for men too, and burn their lives down in the process.
That couldn’t be me.
I had to be better. Smarter. Stronger.
So I didn’t say it. I let the confession sit between the words, even though I knew that wasn’t enough. Someone like Fin would want to hear those three little words. Even then, I knew if I wanted to keep him, I’d have to say it, eventually
But not tonight.
Not now.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I jumped to retrieve it to break the awkward silence.
