I miss them so very much, but still I’m ready to wait for physical affection until he's ready.
His thumb traces the paper, as if the pouting mouth is made of flesh and should be pliant to his touch.
I hold my breath as he inhales, ready to deliver his verdict.
“That’s... those are really good. You should be proud of yourself,” he says softly, hunched over the sketchbook as if he expects the next page to bring him pain. But it’s only a little doodle of us both stretched on the floor by the window. That’s how we often take our morning coffee, and the domesticity of that moment never fails to move me.
But he hesitates, and instead of moving on, returns to the sleeping portrait. “And you... would kiss those lips?”
I kneel in front of him and, with my hands on his thighs, arch up to give him a kiss. “I miss you, Seva. I miss you so much.”
I know he might still find it painful, so I press our lips together, but the gentle touch still sends a warm glow through my body. This is what I want.
He is who I want, and nothing could change that.
He exhales, turning his face so his nose pokes my cheek as we breathe in unison, so very close in the studio that brought us together so many days ago.
“No... what I said before is insufficient. Those drawings are some of your best. Every line shows how much you care about your subject. How you see him. How you seeme.” His voice breaks, and he shivers, leaning forward until his shoulder rests against mine. “You are the first person to know all of my faces and stay. I don’t deserve you.”
I force his legs apart to crawl between them and press my cheek against his chest while I wrap my arms around his waist. I need to be close so much it hurts. “You do. If it was able to help you, I’d flay my hands and give you my skin.”
He cups my face, and while his touch is firm enough to make him hiss in discomfort, I don’t dare move when he meets my gaze with an intensity I’ve never seen from him before.
“No. Don’t you dare say such things. You matter too. You matter... so, so much,” he rasps, blinking as his eyes fog up. “You deserve a different life, but I still want you to stay, because I’m selfish. Because I love you too much to let go of you.”
This might be too much for my heart to take. I kiss him again. I could drown in him right now. Sevastyan is my dream, my reality, and the object of all my desires. I might be a moth he caught and pinned to the wall, but I’m still drawn to his light.
I bathe in the warmth of his affection and gently kiss his lips again. I’ve been afraid to make any advances since the accident, worried about the pain he’s in, but if my lust ends up being too much for him, he’ll have to push me away, because I need to show him just how much I love him.
“Then just never let me go,” I whisper.
“I won’t,” he says and presses our lips together again, this time with more passion. I love the way sunlight reflects on his features when I peek at him. Sure, he’s no longer classically gorgeous, but he’s Seva, and he’s mine. “I missed this.”
“And did you miss this?” I trail my kisses over his jaw, then down his neck, over the least affected skin. He feels so tender under my lips, like I’m getting to caress the raw inside of his soul.
He arches against me like a bow about to shoot a lust arrow straight into my chest. His throat pulses beneath my lips, and he utters a choked groan.
“Yes...”
“Yes?” I smile against his skin, stupidly elated to touch him this way. I slide my hands over his thighs, already dying to pull off his pants. It’s so hard to believe that he so quickly got me used to casual nudism that now the clothes we’ve been wearing since the accident feel like an unnecessary hindrance.
“The way you touch me... it feels so good,” he rasps and lifts his hips from the seat. I follow his cue and peel down his joggers, revealing thick thighs, his abs, that wonderful, wonderful cock already getting hard for me.
I might be salivating. “I’ve been waiting. I… I don’t want to push while you’re in pain, so tell me if it’s too much.” I worship every bit of him. There could be no other man in the world as far as I’m concerned.
He smells of the geranium soap that we use, and I suck on his nipple with a groan, already hard. He might have lost a bit of weight after the accident, but he still has the frame of a stallion in his prime. I love his meaty pecs, and how thick his thighs feel under my fingers.
“Never. Don’t fucking dare hold back,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head and tightening his thighsaround my hips. I know he might struggle grabbing me like he normally would, but none of this matters, because even if he couldn’t ever do that, we would still make things work. I love him so fucking much, and I’ll express it to him with every bit of my body.
When I look up into his face, I’m aware of the scarring and see it clearly, but it’s just a part of him now, no different than the beauty spot on his pec, or his brilliantly blue eyes. This is the body that makes up all of him, the person I love.
I smirk as I glide my tongue between his pecs, and down his stomach. “Are you sure? I could back away if you want…”
“Don’t be a fucking tease,” Seva moans, and his cock bobs in front of my face as he thrusts his hips up, begging for attention as if I’m a stud everyone wants. But maybe it doesn’t matter that’s not the case, when only Seva’s desire counts?
I know he loves my hair so I make a show of pushing it to one side as I lower my mouth over the cockhead.
Bliss. Absolute bliss when I suck. It settles my heart as I replay his sweet words in my mouth. I indulge myself with his body by running my fingers up his stomach. I’m intoxicated by his smell and the broken moan he utters as I bob my head, painting his shaft with my saliva.
