“He’s not that bad,” I muttered. “We read his mail. Of course he was mad.”
“Violet.” She widened her eyes at me. “What are youdoing?”
Something, my mind whispered.Finally, something.
“I know it doesn’t make sense to you,” I said, and she let out another short laugh.
“Yeah, no shit it doesn’t make sense to me. What the fuck, Violet?”
It had been so long since she’d spoken to me like this, like I wasn’t a fragile, broken thing. That same relief sparked by Dex’s unabashed honesty coursed through my veins, shouting that as strange and awful as this felt, itwasthe right decision.
“Phoebe needs this,” I said. She opened her mouth to argue—no doubt another plea to stop giving in to my sister on the tip of her tongue. I cut her off before she could. “I think I need this, too. A change of scenery. Something else. Just… something. You know?”
“No! I don’t know!” She scrambled to her feet and paced the length of the couch for a solid ten seconds. “I’ve been trying to be cool. I really have. I don’t sneak fresh produce in your fridge or slip twenty dollars in your purse. I don’t force you to go out on weekends. You are stubborn and proud and that’s fine because you let me help even when you’re not letting me step in.But a road trip with a stranger is going too far, Violet. This is me officially intervening.”
“Intervening in what?”
She waved her hand wildly at me. “This! You! This whole situation!”
“It’s not about you,” I said. “You don’t get a say.”
“Like hell I don’t. This isn’t happening.” She folded her arms over her chest, drenched in conviction. “It’s just not.”
“It is happening,” I replied softly. “We’re packed. We leave tomorrow.”
A thud came from Phoebe’s door, followed by a soft curse. The absurdity of the situation could’ve set me off—my best friend standing before me, dumbstruck, while my sister eavesdropped from the next room, and somewhere across the city, a stranger packed his bags to escort us across the country. My dad would’ve been in hysterics, as in actual knee-slapping and tears.
Arden sank down on the couch. “No,” she whispered. “No, but… No. You can’t justleave, Violet. What is going on?”
I scooted closer to her, wrapping my fingers around her trembling hands. “I love you. I am so happy for you. No one in the world deserves happiness and love more than you,” I told her earnestly. She looked at me, eyes glassy. “As happy as I am for you, it’s also this huge neon sign of how far behind I am. A year ago, Shawn and I were looking at rings and now…”
“Your dad died,” she said, folding her hands over mine, holding on tightly. “You’re grieving. That’s not falling behind.”
“I’m stuck, Arden.” My eyes stung. “I’m so terrified of what happens next, I stopped living. So maybe this trip is a terrible idea and I’ll regret it two seconds in, but at least it’ssomething.”
She let out a tortured groan. “I hate this. I hate this so much. I know growth is supposed to be scary, but I don’t think theymeant traveling across the country with a potential serial killer scary.”
“He’s not a serial killer,” I said, comforted by both Mary’s assurance and the frankly bizarre phone call I’d received from a friend of Dex’s named Gavin who proceeded to vetme, as if I was the threat. Dex had people who were as worried about his decision as Arden was about mine: It didn’t carry enough weight for unconditional trust, but enough to move forward. “He’s just a guy.”
“No one,” she said gravely, “is just a guy.”
“I know you hate this,” I said, sounding marginally more confident than I felt. Which was not at all. “But I need you to be on my side.”
“I am on your side. Even when you’re batshit crazy. Which is right now, by the way. You’re being batshit crazy.”
“I’m aware.”
Chances were, Iwasmaking a terrible mistake, and I’d regret involving Phoebe in something so dicey. With the odds stacked high against me, I let the ball keep tumbling down the hill on the off chance optimism might stick to it like moss along the way.
Even as anxiety ballooned in my chest, I fixed my face into what I hoped was a convincing smile and said, “I feel good about this, Arden. It’s okay.”
“How is this okay to you?” Arden asked. “I’ve been telling you that you deserve a life for months, but I meant going on dates or a new hobby. Not taking a road trip with a stranger.”
Arden could say I needed a life all day long, but she’d never understand. This was my life. I didn’t have the luxury of being a normal twenty-six-year-old, and I couldn’t benotokay with that.
“I wouldn’t be doing this if I wasn’t one hundred percent on board,” I lied. “Phoebe is more excited than I’ve ever seen her. I trust Dex, I think. At the very least, he’s not a murderer.”
“That you know of,” Arden replied darkly.
