“Ah.” She smiled tightly. This, it seemed, wasn’t new information either. “Come on in.”
Once we were inside, Catalina disappeared to the kitchen to get Phoebe water. I didn’t think Phoebe needed water, she was simply giving Catalina an excuse to breathe for a second. I focused on other things, like the soft leather of the couch and the river rock fireplace with a mantel full of framed photos. On the wall by the front door was a colorful, almost abstract painting of a boy with short hair and a nose ring, a space between his front teeth. I knew, even before Dex’s expression broke at the sight of it, it was Benji.
Catalina returned with a glass, placing it in front of Phoebe.She sat on the couch across from us, folding her hands in her lap. I stared at her, half dazed that this was the same woman we’d read about in a letter. It seemed like forever ago.
“How’s work?” she asked, focusing her attention on Dex.
He shrugged. “Fine.”
“Does Mary miss me?”
He reached up to rub his neck, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Of course. Everyone does.”
Catalina smiled, glancing at Phoebe and me. “You know, it’s funny. Nobody ever thought Ben should work with kids. He had the dirtiest mouth—I once kept track of how many F-bombs he dropped in a day and it was, like, two hundred,” she told us. Phoebe straightened at the casual mention of Benji. Dex kept his expression painfully neutral. “We always joked about how they should swap careers. Ben was better suited for the corporate billionaire app thing and Dex has always been great with kids…” Catalina’s smile slipped. “I still can’t believe you stepped in like that. I mean, I can. He loved Sequest so much and you’d do anything for him. But still.”
Dex cleared his throat, squirming in his seat. “Cat.”
“Sorry, sorry.” Her voice wobbled as she waved her hands. “I’m doing that thing where I dive into the deep shit and you’ve been here two minutes.”
Phoebe’s hands were trembling in her lap, so I reached over, holding on for dear life.
Dex’s fingers drummed the side of his cast. “There’s a lot of deep shit, Cat. It’s hard to avoid.”
She let out a sigh. “Okay, then. Rip off the Band-Aid. I know it’s not will stuff. Your mom dealt with that when she visited.”
Dex furrowed his brow. “She visited you?”
“Yes, August. Christ. Call your mom once in a while. She’s worried about you.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
He dragged a hand down his face, his shoulders drooping. “I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch.”
Catalina’s face softened. “From what I hear, you haven’t been in touch with anyone, so I don’t take it personally,” she said. “He’s why you’re here, right? He has to be. He’s the only one who would get you out here.”
He withdrew the letter from his pocket, the red stamp visible over the fold. Phoebe’s grip tightened against my hand. “This showed up at the apartment. I don’t know what the hell is going on with the postal service that they’re return-to-sendering a dead man’s mail, but that’s how it played out.”
Catalina stared at the letter. Her hand shook as she reached for it. I had the urge to beg her forgiveness, and from the way Phoebe’s breath shook beside me, I knew she felt the same.
“They opened it,” Dex added, maybe seeing Phoebe’s and my stricken expressions. “But if they hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here.”
A rush of gratitude swept through me at the reassurance that he wanted us here. That we belonged here, in a way. Catalina’s shining eyes turned to Phoebe and me on the couch, holding the letter over her heart. And I knew for certain Phoebe had done the right thing when she opened it.
“Did you read it?” Catalina asked, turning to Dex.
“No,” he said quietly. He turned his cast over, studying the stickers Phoebe had pasted all over it. “From what they told me, it’s important. It… it would’ve been important if it was a fucking grocery list.”
Her lip wobbled as she turned the envelope over, handling it like it was the most precious thing. To her, it was.
“I feel like…” Catalina wiped her eyes and dried her hand on her dress before returning it to the letter. “I feel like I shouldnot want to read it, you know? This is the last thing. I’ll never have anything else. And it’s going to destroy me. I know it is. He never needed the last word unless he had something really good to say.”
Dex shut his eyes, wincing.
“I’m going to…” Catalina stood, cradling the letter to her chest. “I have no idea. I haven’t decided yet. But make yourselves at home.”
With that, she shuffled out of the room. Dex stared after her with an expression I could only describe as haunted. I saw it nearly every time I passed a mirror, and the familiarity ached.
