‘You look like an art installation,’ I tell her. ‘You could probably call yourselfThe MorningAfterand win the Turner Prize.’
I stand up and go to her side, gently tugging the knots and snarls out of the bristles until we’re able to safely extricate it.
‘Thank you,’ she says. ‘You’re a life saver. That would’ve stayed there all day if you hadn’t been here. So, I’m guessing that the whole of Starshine is broken this morning, apart from you?’
‘And the children, I suppose. Those of us who didn’t drink for ten hours solid. To be fair, George isn’t too bad at all. He actually got a relatively early night – just after everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to him.’
‘I remember that!’ she says triumphantly, which suggests there are definitely parts of the night she can’t remember. ‘And did he get carried home on his throne?’
‘He did, though I think he was relieved to get off it – his servants were a bit the worse for wear by that stage, and there were definitely a few wobbles.’
‘I can imagine. Now I come to think about it, most people were still out on the green until well after midnight, and then a load of them came back here. What about Guy? I don’t think he was here by that stage…’
She frowns as she speaks, as though trying to remember is actually hurting her brain. That may well be true.
‘I left before him, but he’s probably not too bad. He didn’t drink because he was having Evan around for a sleepover.’ And because he’s doing his whole not-drinking-around-me-in-sympathy thing, which I don’t mention. She’d read too much into it.
Cally knows Evan – was in fact with Miranda when she went into labour – and looks understandably taken aback by the ideaof such an extremely active toddler being confined to such a small space.
‘Evan? In a tent? With that much energy?’ she says, sounding horrified. ‘How would that even work? That’s got to break some fundamental rule of physics!’
‘I have no clue how it worked. It’ll either have been a lot of fun, or Guy is currently tied up and being attacked with a plastic hammer.’
She sniggers at the thought and says: ‘That was brave of him. Nice for Miranda and James to have a night off too. Looks like the extension on her place is coming along well. Every time I walk past it looks more like an actual place that a person could live in. Guy is very… useful, isn’t he?’
I nod. ‘Yep.’
She looks disappointed when I don’t expand on that, and adds: ‘Good dancer too, from what I saw last night.’
‘Yep.’
‘And he’s… Oh, for God’s sake, woman, are you bonking him?’
I burst out laughing, then she joins in, and much hilarity ensues. ‘Bonking?’ I repeat, once we’ve both calmed down. ‘Really?’
She stands up and wipes croissant crumbs off her pyjamas, then goes to make a fresh coffee for her, and a tea for me. ‘My God. Even laughing hurts. Look, I’m not at my most eloquent this morning, Suzie. Probably that last shot of tequila that did it. Or maybe the wine beforehand… Anyway. Bonking is a good word, and you know what I mean. It seems to me like there’s a bit of a spark between you two.’
I shake my head and wish I’d brought more cake. I should have guessed really that she’d eat both.
‘It’s… complicated,’ is all I manage. I don’t want to talk about this, because I haven’t as yet figured it all out myself.
I can’t deny the way I felt last night – the physical attraction, yes, but also the emotional pull of the man. When we stood together in the caves, surrounded by their jewelled light, and he told me he was staying, that he was open to our friendship developing into something more, I felt… a lot. More than I wanted to feel, and way more than I feel equipped to handle right now.
‘It is, yes,’ Cally says, sitting down opposite me. She looks almost human now. ‘All the best things are. Do you like him?’
‘Of course.’
‘And does he like you? In a potential bonking way I mean, not just a pals way?’
I nod and chew my lip. The irony is that ever since we met, there’s been a certain dynamic in action between Guy and me – I flirt, he pretends not to notice, we both go about our business. I’ve played the breathless admirer, and he’s played the straight man. It’s been harmless fun, but now I feel like it’s all been turned on its head.
‘Right. Well, what do you want from it all?’ Cally asks. ‘You look worried. I don’t like that you’re worried.’
‘Oh, Cally – I’m always worried about something, I’m just really good at hiding it! I was worried about coming back here. I was worried about seeing my dad again, and how everyone would react to me being home. I was worried about howIwould react to me being home, and if I’d cope with it. I’m worried about being pregnant at forty-three, about being a single mum; about being any kind of mum at all… It’s been a lot, you know? And Guy has been… I don’t want to say “a distraction”, because that belittles it, makes less of it than it is. But he’s been outside it all somehow. He’s been someone I can talk to who isn’t as tied up in the Starshine strings, you know? Does that make any sense at all or do I sound completely mad?’
She nods and holds my hand across the table. ‘A bit mad, but not completely. I think I get it. I mean, I’m not you, but I can understand why you were worried about all those things. And maybe your friendship with Guy was a bit of a respite? A bit of relief from everything feeling so heavy?’
‘That’s it exactly! And now I’m not sure what will happen. I do like him, but I also have way too much going on in my life to start something new. Certainly something casual. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-casual. In fact it’s how I ended up in this position in the first place. But right now, it’s not for me – I’m not robust enough. It could do more harm than good.’
