‘So, Auntie Suzie,’ James says once she’s done, ‘can I ask you something?’
‘Um, yes,’ I mumble, almost choking on a nutty numpkin. Oh, Lord. It’s all gone too well – here it comes…
‘Grandad says you know Miranda’s father?’
There’s a bit of a communal whipping around of heads among the adults at that one, and I feel initially relieved at the question. I’d expected something about me, which with hindsight is pretty egotistical. My relief is followed up with a slight sense of caution – I feel a strange loyalty to Guy, and I have no clue how this conversation is going to pan out.
‘Well, I met him yesterday,’ I offer. ‘If that counts as knowing him?’
James nods, then says: ‘I mean, he seems okay. But she’s not seen him since she was a little girl, and even though she’s pleased about him being here, she’s also a bit freaked out. I don’t want her to get used to him being around if he’s just going to disappear again, you know? I’m sorry if I’m being rude…’
Connie reaches out and pats his hand. ‘You’re not, sweetie. We all know how you feel about Miranda and Evan. It’s good to look out for the people you love, but you also have to give people a chance, don’t you?’
‘That’s more your thing than mine, Mum,’ he replies, grinning at her. ‘And I don’t mean anything by it. I just don’t want her to get hurt.’
‘I don’t think that’s his intention at all, James,’ I say sincerely. ‘I think theirs was a complicated family situation, and he’s trying to make it right.’
‘I know, and Miranda does too. Her mum wasn’t very stable, from the sounds of it – she just uprooted them one day and told Miranda she wasn’t allowed to even mention his name any more. I know it’s complicated, and I’m not accusing him of anything, I’m just…’
‘Feeling a bit like if he hurts her at all, you’ll physically tear him limb from limb?’
‘Yeah. That. Although he looks pretty tough to be fair. I’d still have a go though. But you think he’s genuine?’
‘I do,’ I assure him, ‘though I’m not sure my opinion should count for anything to be entirely honest. I’m a Grade A flake myself.’
‘I like Flakes,’ Cally mutters at that moment, gazing with dreamy eyes at the almond biscotti. She’s spent the whole night telling us she’s ‘on a diet’, which is a source of quiet amusement among everyone else. ‘And Walnut Whips…’
Connie laughs and says: ‘Oh, for God’s sake, woman, eat the damn biscuits! You know you’ll just be miserable if you don’t, and that’s not fair on the rest of us.’
Cally laughs, long and hard, then defiantly shoves a small handful of biscotti into her mouth, crumbs falling from her lips as she chews. It breaks the slight tension that had built around the table, and everyone moves swiftly on to discussing plans for my dad’s ninetieth party.
‘You’ll stay for it, won’t you?’ Connie asks, her eyes on mine and a slightly pleading tone in her voice. ‘You can’t come all this way and then miss the social event of the decade – StarshineCove will never have seen the like before! The dress code is Old School Glamour, I mean, who could resist that?’
My dad is trying hard not to look at me expectantly, obviously not wanting to add any pressure, and I have a little moment of self-loathing that he feels the need to behave like that around me. Like I’m made of glass, that this reunion is so fragile that it will shatter if he squeezes it too hard.
‘Of course I will,’ I say firmly. ‘How could I miss the social event of the decade?’
I have, obviously, missed many of them – but I am here now, and I am doing my best. One foot in front of the other, as a wise man recently told me. Everyone looks pleased to hear me commit to the near future at least, and I’m happy that they’re happy. But I also have to recognise that I’m now feeling a bit hot and bothered, a bit too much the centre of attention.
‘Do you smoke?’ asks Connie, jumping to her feet.
‘Not any more,’ I answer truthfully. I’ve been on-again-off-again for most of my adult life, but am definitely off at the moment.
‘Me neither. Shall we go outside and pretend we do? That’ll give this bunch of savages time to start the cleaning up…’
She cackles like a super villain and a series of groans breaks out around the table. ‘Tough tittie, you know the score – I create, my darlings, I don’t clear!’
Bear follows me and Connie through into the living room, where full-length French doors lead out into the garden. I notice as I go that there are three life-size cardboard cut-outs on display, Henry Cavill, Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Craig, all of them dressed snazzily in tuxedos. She turns them around so that they’re watching us while we sit in the garden.
‘There,’ she says, raising a glass at the trio, ‘don’t you feel safe now?’
‘Totally,’ I reply, laughing as Bear goes to investigate an abandoned skateboard, puts one experimental paw on it, and jumps out of his skin when it moves. ‘Thank you for tonight. It was really nice.’
‘Don’t sound so surprised! Were you a bit worried? I know it must be a lot, coming home after all this time.’
‘It is a lot, yes. And while we’re out here pretending to smoke, I’ll say to you what I said to my dad last night – I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you all needed me.’
Connie nods, and sips her wine, and stays silent for a moment. ‘It was a terrible time, I can’t lie. Sometimes it still is. I’ve got Zack, and Archie has Cally, and your dad has been… Well, he’s been amazing. We all love the bones of him, and I reckon there’s still life in the old dog yet. I’ve been trying to persuade him to join a dating app for seniors, but he’s having none of it.’
