And that’s all I need to know. I don’t care that my mouth probably tastes like a brewery, or that hers is salty from tears.I don’t care that we need to talk about this—really talk about it—or that I can see Lola watching us from the hall. She’s not as stealthy as she’d like to believe. I don’t care about any of it, because it’s entirely possible that the woman I love has feelings for me too.
Our teeth clash when I kiss her, but she doesn’t pull back. No, Indigo Bloom grips my shirt in her fists and pulls me closer. She moans when I sweep my tongue into her mouth, and her knees buckle. Wedging a knee between her thighs, I keep her pressed against the wall and pour ten years of longing into our kiss. Because I may be drunk, but I’m not stupid enough to say the three words tingling on the tip of my tongue. So I use it to show her.
We’re both breathless when we finally pull apart.
“Wow.”
I grin. “Yeah, Rosebud. Wow, is right.”
nineteen
INDIGO
He pushed her away.He pushed. Her. Away.
I can’t decide what I want to do more—puke my guts up in the boxwood bushes or pull Sebastian into my bedroom and finally have my way with him. What Idoknow is that we can’t stay in this little bubble while his friends and some random rideshare driver wait on the street and Lola watches from the other room. Because I have no doubt she’s watching us. Lola will never pass up an opportunity to be nosy.
Still, I don’t pull away when Sebastian leans in and kisses me again. It’s slower this time, more tender. I’d be a puddle of goo if he wasn’t holding me up. I shift in his arms, and pleasure zings through my core as my center rubs against his thick thigh. His fingers tighten on my hips when a breathy little moan escapes me.
“Fuck, sweetheart, if you keep making those noises, I’m going to skip a lot of steps here and go straight to fucking you.” Breathing hard, Sebastian rests his forehead against mine. His eyes are closed, screwed up tight like he’s in pain. “But we have a lot to talk about first.”
“We don’t have to talk.” Fucking sounds good. And talking sounds painful. I may be a romance writer, but I’m also a human being with enough emotional baggage to sink a small ship. I know, logically and from a character development standpoint, that we need to talk. But I’m not a character. I’m a real-life person, and all I can think about is running away from the pain that will probably accompany the conversation we need to have.
Sebastian’s grip on me tightens. “We do. If we’d spoken ten years ago, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I’m not wasting another ten years.”
Sighing, I close my eyes and give myself a pep talk. Because he’s right, and I know it. I’m an adult, a successful writer, and a woman who’s been taking care of herself for a long time. Even if our conversation is painful, I can handle it.
But what if it’s not painful?
“Are you sober enough to have this conversation?” It’s impossible to miss the scent of beer on his breath, even if he doesn’t taste like it.
“I have a pot of coffee brewing,” Lola says, popping her head out of the kitchen and giving me a massive, innocent smile.
I knew she’d been eavesdropping.
“Kissing you sobered me up. But coffee won’t hurt.” Bash’s lips twitch.
“Fine. Do you have to be up early for practice tomorrow?”
“Nope. Not until two.”
“Okay. Then send your cheering section home. We can either get you a rideshare home, or you can sleep on the couch.” I’m not sure he’llfiton the couch, but I can’t worry about that now.
“Be right back.” He kisses me on the forehead before sauntering out to tell his teammates they can leave. I follow him onto the porch and watch.
“Well, well, well. It’s about time he showed up. I can’t believe it took him this long, to be honest. I told you ignoringhim wouldn’t help.” Lola smirks at me, her attention flickering between me and the gaggle of men on the sidewalk.
I really hope none of the neighbors call the cops. “I thought he didn’t want me. And I really didn’t want to have that conversation.”
“Inds, I know you’ve had your share of heartbreak, but at some point, you have to accept that you’re a beautiful, badass bitch who is desirable and worthy, and that other people see it too.” Lola points a finger at me. “Don’t fuck this up.”
I start to protest, but she cuts me off.
“I’m serious, Indigo. Not many people get second chances. Don’t blow it because you’re scared.” And with that, she slaps me hard on the ass and saunters back into the house. I hear her door close, and I know I won’t see or hear her again until tomorrow.
A few moments later, after Sebastian takes a group selfie with the rideshare driver, his teammates pile back into the car and drive away. Silence cocoons us as he ambles up the sidewalk toward me, hands in his pockets, hope in his eyes.
He takes each step slowly. His gaze never leaves mine, and everything inside of me warms and begins to vibrate. I want to run. Into his arms. Away from him. Screaming into the night. But I don’t. Because I’m held captive in his gaze, and it leaves me rooted to the spot.
