Removing the display screen, Everest twists around to face me. I’m shocked to see a glint of honesty in his green irises, his features falling flat. Beneath the flick of blond hair hanging over his forehead, his eyes sink slightly.
“I’m the last person who could judge you, Meg.” He turns away before seeing how taken aback I am by the raw, graveled edge to his voice. Whatever I was expecting Everest to do or say, that wasn’t it. But if he isn’t judging me, then why bring up me sleeping with Thiago in the first place? Unless he’s jealous…
Skirting around my gaze, Everest places the display into the back seat and holds out his hand expectantly. I almost clasp it inmine before I have the good sense to think straight. Placing my phone in his open palm, he takes care of removing the battery from mine and then his, tossing all of the devices into the back before pulling on his seatbelt. I follow suit, saying nothing as the engine rumbles beneath us and Everest peels out of the parking lot.
I knew today would be another long drive, but the boredom seeps in faster. Maybe because I’m not being encouraged by stubbornness like I was yesterday. It was easier to believe Everest had ambushed me, dragged me away from the comfort of campus against my will, technically and ironically kidnapping me away. But just because it’s easier doesn’t make it true.
Without the distraction of my phone, or even the radio playing, the road stretches endlessly, hours blurring until I feel like I’ll never escape the void I’ve become trapped in. That’s when my thoughts turn dangerous. Half of my brain is ruled by the will power to not think about last night, whilst the other is frantic to forget where we’re driving to. Eventually, my eyes slide down to Everest’s crotch, hidden beneath a baggy pair of shorts. Although the material is clearly intended for a strenuous workout, the thin fabric cascading over Everest’s powerful thighs like liquid.
“Megan,” my name is said in warning. I don’t even bristle at the full use of it, a devious smile spreading across my face.
“Yes, Everest?” I reply sweetly. Everest visibly shivers, his laser-sharp eyes flaring as he keeps his attention on the road.
“If you don’t stop staring at my dick, I will be forced to pull this car over.” Flicking his green gaze my way just in time to catch my teeth sinking into my lip, he runs a hand over his face. Wrapping the arms of the hoodie around me, which still smells as much like Thiago as it did when I stole it from his drawer, I fake pout at the side of Everest’s head.
“I’m bored.”
“Clearly,” he shoots me a side glance. “I’m not a viable option when you’re entertained.” Retracting my bottom lip, my brows furrow, the playful mood I had been sporting instantly shifting. Since when has Everestwantedto be a viable option? It’s as if he’s flipped the script, and is now trying to gaslight me. Twisting in my seat, I face him, keeping my arms crossed.
“What about the Fresher’s party?” I ask, not caring for our pact to never mention said night again. It seems we’ve gone beyond all set boundaries anyway. “I sought you out then. I literally came to that stupid party just hoping to catch your eye, back when I was all googly eyed and impressed by you. And then, when you were nowhere to be seen, I went searching. It was you who took what you wanted and then gave me a public walk of shame.” I verbally jab him, looking away from his tensed jaw as my voice drops. “It was you who rejected me first.”
Silence descends in the cab. Gripping the steering wheel harder, Everest’s knuckles pop white, his composed posture tension. I realize I’m not going to get an answer and huff through my nose, shaking my head at myself before facing back forward. How silly of me to think we could spare a moment to be vulnerable whilst trapped in this car together.
Miles drag by, the conversation and my soured mood subsiding. There’s no point dwelling on the past when this whole trip is about rescuing Laura and burying my ghosts in the process. It’s time I started fresh. Although, it would appear Everest is firmly stuck in this version of events, his voice catching me off guard when he finally speaks.
“You needed an enemy to keep striving to be your best. You would have been swallowed by my shadow if I’d allowed that night to become a regular occurrence.” Turning my head, his hand lifts to halt whatever direction my brain was about to take. “Not because you’re not talented enough. Because my reputationkills everything it touches. Trust me, I was of more use to you as a rival.”
I let my gaze linger on him properly this time, not in passing, not in irritation, but in quiet observation. Like the rest of the world, I’ve only ever seen the version Everest has decided to show. The tension in his defined jaw is causing a beat to tic, his mouth set in a thin line. Yet, this might be the closest we’ve ever come to having a heart to heart, and this might possibly be the only time it happens.
“So that’s it then. You made that decision on my behalf and you’ve been engineering my personality ever since. You’ve kept me angry and kept me resenting you all this time so I could, what, be good at lacrosse?”
“I controlled the narrative,” Everest nods once. I struggle not to gape at him. This is Everest’s logic, that everything is black and white, that he can control the people around him like pawns. Licking my lips, I straighten in my seat, considering him quietly.
“What if you didn’t? What if you had just let life happen and see where we ended up?” For a beat, Everest’s eyes sink before he refocuses on driving.
“No one can be free whilst they're trapped on my arm.” His voice is level, stating a fact rather than an opinion. I consider him with a tilt to my head, tracing the network of veins along his arms with my eyes. This is all pointless now, since Everest’s decision to shut me out has robbed us of that chance. I twist my mouth, sighing lightly.
“I might have been happy.” A sharp swerve follows, Everest’s grip on the steering wheel faltering. A car behind us blares its horn and my heart slams against my ribcage. Glancing wide-eyed at him, an expression I’ve never seen before has fallen over Everest’s face. Something akin to fear or panic.
“Have you not been happy?” he asks in a raspy tone. I shrug one shoulder. That is the golden question. I’ve spent yearschasing the idea of happiness. On the pitch, I kept pushing for the next goal, the next win. In my personal life, I had a mom who was going on endless dates rather than spending time with me, and a sister who allowed me to hide my grief behind hers. An ache blossoms in my chest, flashes of memories passing behind my eyes. In every single one, whether I’m eating ice cream on Avery’s bed, running drills with the team or standing in the middle of a party, I have the same expression on my face. It’s a truth I haven’t wanted to face, but can no longer deny.
“I’ve been alone.”
My words land, taking on a meaning I didn’t intend but can’t take back. The final image settles within my mind, one of me sweating on the pitch alone. I did that regularly, busting my ass just so I could sleep through sheer exhaustion. So regularly, someone was able to learn my schedule. I was furious the night Harrison came for me, enraged about some locker room drama I can’t even remember now. It’s all so menial, those nights I pushed myself beyond my limits just to be the best. My best evidently wasn’t good enough.
Everest seems to go down a similar thought process, running a hand through his hair and ruffling the blond strands in the process.
“I’m not going to fail to protect you this time,” he vows. I didn’t ask for such a declaration, but I accept it. Cracking his neck, Everest indicates to exit the freeway, searching for a spot to stop and stretch his legs. Turning off the engine, he pauses just before getting out of the car, giving me a quick look that is flooded with honesty.
“For the record, you’re not good at lacrosse. You’re fucking phenomenal. That’s why I’ve gone to extreme lengths to ensure you returned to the team.”
“What—” I ask but he’s already gone. I get stuck in my seat belt, delaying me from following. By the time I do eventuallycatch up to Everest standing at a roadside food truck, he turns to hand me a coffee. His sly smile is back in place and I roll my eyes, hugging the takeaway cup in my hands and inhaling. My bones loosen instantly, a similar smile growing upon my face. Fine, Calloway, keep your secrets. Lord knows you have plenty.
Chapter Forty Four
I pull over to stretch and relieve myself a total of three times over the course of the day. Each time, the smell of cheap coffee and gasoline washes over me and I can’t wait to get back in the car, itching to finish this journey.
Meg is back by my side, in the passenger seat I mean, swamped in an oatmeal-colored hoodie above gray jeggings. She’s pulled her hair up in a ponytail that swishes as she hums along to a song in her head. Anyone looking in would think we’re on a romantic road trip for the weekend. If only they knew what Meg’s efforts to keep herself distracted were really in aid of.
