Chapter Fifteen
Valerie was more than surprised when she and Adrienne walked away from the second Sending unscathed. Even more so, Niko and Amy had stayed true to their word. Not only had they gone through with their promise to convince Sienna and Tamera to join their alliance, but they’d voted with them. Tamera had agreed only because she and Valerie had shared a brief connection for the five minutes they were paired together, though she had very much wanted to reiterate her dislike for Adrienne.
In the end, three votes had landed against Carmen and Safiya, and thereafter the contestants had reached a unanimous decision to send Carmen home. Poker players had poker faces, and apparently, the consensus was that keeping her in the game was just too risky.
“I’d like to bring back the tribute,” Safiya said, dropping down on a log beside the fire. She wiped a fresh set of tears from beneath her eyes and hugged her knees to her chest. “I think Carmen deserves at least that.”
Valerie, who absolutely hated seeing anyone cry, dropped down beside her. She slung an arm around her shoulders and nodded. “I think that’s a great idea.”
In past seasons, especially the earlier ones, the contestants came together after a Sending to pay tribute to the contestants who had been voted out. It was a small ritual of respect, a way of acknowledging that someone’s journey had ended. For some reason, the tradition had died out.
Isla stoked the embers with a stick until a shower of orange sparks floated up into the dark sky. “You go first, Safiya. You knew her the best.”
Everyone gathered around the fire pit, taking seats on overturned logs or sitting directly on the pebbles. Valerie spotted Adrienne across the fire, and when their eyes met, she did something she hadn’t expected herself to do. She winked. Adrienne smiled, then looked down at the fire, and Valerie wished more than anything that she was sitting beside her with her arm around her shoulders instead.
“I’m going to miss her morning pep talks,” Safiya began, her voice cracking slightly. “Every single morning, we’d walk out to the shore, and she would look at me and say, ‘Saf, today is a clean slate. Yesterday’s losses are just fertilizers for today’s victories.’”
Isla tossed her poking stick aside and folded her knees beneath herself. “I’m going to miss how she talked in her sleep,” she said, chuckling to herself. “I don’t know if anyone else heard her two nights ago.”
“You mean when she sat up and yelled, ‘I don’t want to swim anymore, Mom,’” Sienna said, laughing, which had everyone laughing. Valerie forced out a chuckle, not because she remembered that moment. On the contrary, she did not. In fact, she was quite certain that was the night she and Adrienne had been naked in the pine forest. Had anyone noticed they weren’t there? She quickly caught Adrienne’s gaze and watched a flash of panic mirror her own face. But if anyone had noticed, then surely they would’ve said something by now. Right?
“I love how she used to bluff herself into thinking that beans and rice were a five-course meal,” Tamera said, smiling at the fire. “Her last meal was apparently a charred filet mignon with a side of truffled mashed potatoes.”
“She was also the loudest chewer I’ve ever heard,” Stevie added, yanking off her Doc Martens and plopping them down beside her. “It sounded like she was chewing on rocks.”
“She asked if I could write my next book with a poker player as the main character,” Amy said, yawning so wide she could swallow the fire and all of them in one go. “She thinks a high-stakes card shark from Las Vegas who knows exactly when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em would make a great love interest. She also begged me to include a scene with a private suite poker table and a pair of silk restraints.”
“I’d read that,” Niko said, nodding. “But only after I’ve indulgedSpurred and Spanked. I’m going to order that book as soon as I get home.”
More laughter rippled through the circle, but this time Valerie didn’t join in. Hearing them talk about Carmen in the past tense felt too much like a funeral. Suddenly she wasn’t on the island anymore. She was standing on the linoleum porch of Sitka’s assisted living facility with the smell of lavender ripe in her nose. “I want my tombstone surrounded by fireweed,” Hattie was saying as Valerie pushed the squeaky wheelchair out onto the garden path. “And don’t you dare let anyone cry. I want everyone dancing to ABBA.” Valerie had laughed it off and told her mom she was being ridiculous. She wasn’t going to die; she was going to live forever. They were going to beat it. The next second, the garden path fell away, and Valerie could see those giant ethereal wings. She shuddered so violently that even Safiya, who was still tucked in the crook of Valerie’s armpit, looked at her. “You alright?” she asked.
“Fine,” Valerie said, dropping her arm only to smooth her suddenly clammy hands across the front of her jeans. “I’ll go next.” She paused. Her interactions with Carmen had been limited to water refill excursions. But even so, Carmen loved to talk. “I don’t think any of us realize how good she was atpoker. She literally just came off—and I mean a week beforeOutlast Herstarted—a massive victory at the World Poker Tour in Sydney.”
“Really?” Isla and Stevie asked at the same time.
Valerie was just about to mention the astounding amount she’d won when Niko said, “Your turn, Adrienne.”
Valerie looked across the flames at Adrienne. She had her long legs tucked up to her chest. So far tonight, Adrienne had said next to nothing. Even at The Sending, her name had barely come up. Valerie had a suspicion that after the last Sending, when she’d basically been everyone’s target practice, Vivian had decided to take it easy on her.
Adrienne cleared her throat and for some reason, Valerie’s stomach did a nervous little flip. If Adrienne opened her mouth right now and said she had no idea what to say because she had, in fact, never had a conversation with Carmen, well...
Valerie braced herself.
“I told her I loved her Khaite ribbed tank top. I’ve got it in three different colors. She said I can have hers when she goes.” She reached into the front pocket of her hoodie and pulled out a knit fabric the color of a forest. “She gave it to me just before she left.”
Valerie stared at the fabric, stunned. Not only had she completely missed the exchange—which was surprising considering she had a firm grasp on Adrienne’s whereabouts at all times—but as she looked around the circle, she felt a massive wave of relief. Everyone looked satisfied, almost impressed by her tribute. It appeared Adrienne had come a long way since that first Sending.
“Alright, everyone,” Isla said, heaving herself up as if she had a hundred-pound weight attached to her back. “I’m off to bed.”
Valerie watched her go as more murmurs of sleep echoed around her. Soon enough everyone had left for the shelter exceptfor Valerie and Adrienne. For what felt like forever, they sat without moving, without talking, without even looking at each other.
Then, when the flames were shorter and the night darker, Adrienne pushed herself up, but instead of heading toward the shelter, like Valerie assumed she would, Adrienne made a beeline for the path leading toward Moon Pit.
Before Valerie could even think about what her legs were doing, she followed.
“I didn’t know you even spoke to Carmen,” she said when they were both out of earshot of camp. She bent low under a broken branch no one had bothered to cut down and added, “Or that she gave you that top.”
Adrienne looked back over her shoulder and smiled. It was as if she knew Valerie would follow, and hoped she’d follow. Frankly, that look in her eye warmed Valerie’s body in all the wrong places. Or were they all the right places? “I’m not an ice statue, Val. I do actually make an effort with people out here. I have a heart.”
