“Oh, Olli left, like…an hour ago.”
“Huh, I didn’t even—”
“Do you know where he went?” I interrupt Sasha. My stomach lurches, pushing food entirely out of my mind. Somehow, I know where Olli went, even before Vince confirms it with a casual shrug.
“Some frat party, he said, down at the shore.”
Sasha’s head swivels as she looks between Vince and me. “What’s wrong with that, Lind?”
“I just—” I shake my head, fighting down the unease that’s crawling up my throat. “I think we should go. After him, I mean.” A party full of frat bros, including the quarterback who just broke up with him, and this time there’s no Nate to take a punch for Olli.
“I’ll drive,” Sasha says, studying my face for a moment longer, then puts her shake down on the counter.
Micah, August 14th
The party is already in full swing when I maneuver my car into an empty spot by the side of the road. For a moment, I just sit there, hands on the steering wheel, staring motionlessly through the windshield. Flickers and flashes of light break through the darkness around, luring the guests to the water. The music carries over the top of the trees, bass so heavy it vibrates in my chest.
Kappa Nu parties are the stuff college movies are made of—wild and iconic, with countless bodies grinding against each other, a bottomless well of booze, and at least one major scandal. This will be my last chance to attend their annual lakeside summer party, yet I’m tempted to restart the engine and vanish into the darkness.
I think of Linden and his promise to wait for me back at the Nook. We could have spent the night together, or I could have at least asked him to accompany me. He’s not the party type, so we would have disappeared into the woods along the shoreline, maybe ducked into our hiding spot from weeks ago. Back when his blowjob sent nothing more than thrills down my spine, justone more thing to tick off our sex list. Now, my stomach flips whenever I think back on him. The unreasonable urge to hide in bed together consumes all my thoughts.
At some point during our summer, it became so normal to feel his body next to mine in bed, to always have him around me, with his snark and pink cheeks, that I feel almost incomplete now.
“You’re here for Seb,” I remind myself quietly.
He hates parties, he hates this fucking frat, and he had one hell of a bad week at practice. The least I can do is be there for him, shoot the shit with the team, and keep his frat bros at bay. I glance into the rearview mirror, giving myself a small nod before I kill the headlights.
Warm night air engulfs me as I step out of the car and close my door with a soft thud. Vermont summers have a special smell—the scent of pine mixes with lake water and gasoline. A soft breeze caresses my naked arms, carrying the smoke of a bonfire.
Gravel crunches under my sneakers as I lock my car, then roll my shoulders against the stiffness in my back. My shirt is clinging to my skin. It’s still humid out here, even this late.
The path to the lake is narrow and barely visible in the moonlight. I almost stumble over a set of exposed roots, then round a couple so entangled with each other that I can’t possibly say where one of them begins and the other ends. With every step, the music grows louder, echoing in my bones and competing with my heartbeat.
Laughter and the babble of voices worm their way through the forest, the air buzzing with bad decisions and good memories alike. As the trees thin out, the beach comes into full view. A huge bonfire spits sparks into the dark sky, illuminating the crowd around it. Towels and picnic blankets are scattered on the sand, groups of students sitting together like little islands in the ocean, some of them shouting along to the lyrics, totally off-key.
A wooden makeshift bar is the centerpiece of the party, with the Kappa Nu logo displayed on a white panel in the background. String lights loop between the countless bottles while topless frat brothers hand out red Solo cups to their guests.
I spot Evander among them, nodding at him in greeting, but then shake my head when he holds up a beer can. I don’t plan to stay long, and I need to drive.
He shrugs, handing it to the next person instead.
“Wise decision. In Germany, we have dishwater stronger than that shit.”
I laugh when I recognize Felix next to me, several shot glasses in his hands. He bumps his elbow against mine, then grins.
“Hey man, have you seen Seb?” I ask. Nearby, a gaggle of guys and girls hoots at the sight of Felix and the drinks in his hands. I gaze over at them, realizing they’re a bunch of exchange students.
“Uh, yeah, he’s dancing.”
There’s something in the way Felix pronounces the worddancingthat makes my stomach drop with unease. Gnawing on my bottom lip, I face the crowd of grinding bodies in the dark. From here, they seem like one big creature, winding and coiling.
I spot my best friend before he sees me.
Kappa Nu cap flipped backward, tattooed arms snaked around two girls at once, a carefully curated grin on his lips. He leans down to whisper into a blonde’s ear—tiny white dress, sunburnt shoulders, cute—and she laughs like he just told the best joke.
I’m sure he didn’t; he never does. He lowers his voice and lets those stupid dimples show.
It works like magic. Every.Fucking. Time.
