We’re in the middle of the hygiene product aisle when I drift off again. I’m watching Micah's fingers trail over the different-scented shampoos, and the next moment I'm wondering who theguy is that made Micah consider the threesome. Chewing on my lower lip, I idly push our cart back and forth.
Micah skips the citrus scents and settles on the lavender one that's on sale.
“About yesterday,” I start, not wanting to ambush him. With Olli and Sasha taking the lead in the conversation and Nicko being Nicko, I didn’t get many words in.
Micah hums, briefly looking up from where he’s reading the back of the shampoo. He tilts his head, then keeps looking at me as he leans down to put it into the cart.
“Oh cool, another lecture. Let me have it.” He aims for a teasing grin, a muscle ticking in his jaw.
I force my eyes to absolutelynotdrop into that enticing gap his loosely hanging tank top is creating around his chest.
“No, I don’t want to lecture you. I’m sure you know what you’re getting yourself into,” I mutter, feeling like I’m saying the words to him as well as to myself, soothing the small place in my own chest that’s still hurt by Colin.
“But I just had a feeling,” I start, drawing my brows together. I don’t want to accuse him of anything, but I recognized the look on Micah’s face at the end of our conversation. “That you're not going to tell Mia's friend about…” I trail off with a sideways nod.
Micah freezes for a second, then slowly stands back up. “Dunno what you mean,” he says casually, but I can hear the strain in his voice.
I huff and hold on to the cart before Micah can pull it farther down the aisle. His shoulders slump when I don't give in.
“No, I…it's a chance. Like Sasha said: talent isn't enough anymore. I could use the contact to someone like—” Micah takes a hissing breath, then amends: “I could use the contact.”
I don't comment on the cut-off sentence. I'm curious, but I understand why he wants to keep the other player's name asecret. We're all friends at the Nook, but sometimes it is a bit of a gossip nest.
“And you think if the guy knows you don't have any experience, he might call it off?” I finally relent and push the cart onward, walking up next to Micah so I can keep my voice low.
“Well, yeah? He probably wants a wild college experience after all. If I can't deliver that, what's the point?”
“Maybe he’d also like to discover something new together?” I offer carefully. There have to be other inexperienced people out there who’d be thrilled to meet someone who doesn’t care about that. They can't all subscribe to the same school of thinking as Colin does, can they?
“I guess? But this is supposed to be a one-time thing.” Micah laughs, but it’s jittery and stiff. Clearly, this is eating at him more than he wanted us all to think. “So I don’t think we’ll have enough time to learn what’s exciting and what isn’t.” He pulls the cart around the produce baskets and picks out vegetables from between attendants who are arranging the piles of fruit into impressive pyramids.
I nod, taking the hint to leave it be for now. I’m worried the conversation will hang between us, but Micah easily leans into my space to pick out carrots, zucchinis, and peaches, silently holding the latter out for my judgment when I reach for them, so I gradually relax again.
By the time we get in line at the registers, it feels like a normal grocery trip. We’re about to start putting things onto the band when I groan.
“Shit, I forgot Nicko’s chips!” I turn around to squeeze past a woman with a stroller. “I’ll be right back!”
Thankfully, the snacks aren’t far, but there’s an abundance of flavors and packet sizes that stump me. Looking for the biggest bags, I grab three at random.
“Phew, that would have been a disaster!” I huff, plopping the packets down on the conveyor belt, blinking when I realize that Micah is already paying. He sectioned off not just his shampoo, but also the oats and his cereal bars from the rest of our groceries.
“No worries,” he hums, pocketing his change.
He helps the bagger while I empty the cart. With the help of the cashier, Micah makes his phone work on the scanner for the online coupons, and the total goes down considerably.
“We could have calculated your things afterward,” I say once we’re back in my truck. “Just a habit,” he says and fastens his seat belt.
Soft country songs fill the air as my radio sputters to life. Micah rolls down a window, and although the air is already thick, there’s a small breeze drifting in. When he starts to sing along to the music, it’s almost like one of those movies about summer road trips and adventures.
“You know,” I start, when a light in front of us turns yellow and I slow down rather than risk it. This is my chance to seize the moment.
Micah hasn’t said anything, but he’s stopped singing. I can feel his eyes on the side of my face.
“If you’re really worried about your lack of experience,” I continue slowly. It’s what I wished Colin had said to me. “I could help you.”
I feel like a villain as I make this offer in the safety of my truck, looking straight ahead at the traffic light that's keeping us in place. I’m just like Mia—using Micah for my gain. And like her, I’m disguising it as his benefit.
But no matter how manipulative it makes me feel, it's practical. I need experience to finally get with Colin and there are only a few weeks of summer left.
