“Ineed to talk to you about something.”
“Oh? Of course, man, what is it?” Nate looks up from his book, tilting his head at me. My resolve deflates like one of those flailing tube-guys in front of car dealerships.
“Uhm…it’s nothing big, just…something I wanted to tell you.” I hate dancing around the subject like this; it doesn’t feel right thatagainsomething to do with Nicko gets between me and Nate.
He raises his brows and waits for me to continue.
“I uh…mh…,” I hedge, unsure where to start. This would be easier if I hadn’t sworn that I had no intentions toward Nate’s brother before the Christmas break. Before I went and threw that resolution right out of the window as soon as the opportunity presented itself. I don’t even know why I suggested it. Just that I did not want to fall into some vague fuck-buddy arrangement with Nicko.
Not to mention that he’s still ghosting through my system, an aftertaste lingering in my mouth, even if I’m half worried he’ll lunge at my throat if I take a wrong step.
And I hadn’t thought about Nate fitting into this at all—until now.
It felt right not to tell him while there wasn’t anything serious between his brother and me. But now it’s a Date, capital D. Now it’s more than just fooling around.
“Yeah?” Nate prompts, and I become aware that I haven’t said anything for too long. I draw my shoulders up, even further away from finding the right words.
“There’s…I have a date.”
“Congrats, man,” Nate says, but his tone is flat, his eyes piercing. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
He’s going to make me say it. I bite my tongue and rub the back of my head, shifting on my feet. My eyes wander around our room, but neither my bed nor our bookshelves are offering any help. I throw a look out of our windows. Maybe someone will hold up a banner with a script for me.
Eventually Nate groans. “Jesus Christ, I know you’re sleeping with Nicko.”
“You…you know?”
“Yeah?” Nate grimaces. “Since Christmas. Wanted to ask you to go for a run before we left, and you had Nicko drooling all over your chest, so I let you sleep and figured you’d tell me when you were ready.” There’s a quiet accusation in his voice; a bit of sadness too.
I close my eyes with a sigh. I was certain that no one would catch on.
“We…it wasn’t supposed to be anything serious,” I start, ducking my head and holding up a hand when Nate draws his brows together.
“It really wasn’t. We thought we just had to get it out of our systems but…” I can’t help the way my lips curl as I think about last night, the noises Nicko made when lying on the backseat ofhis car. How his eyes glinted in the near darkness over me, and the way his mouth greeted me greedily when I came up.
“Ugh,” Nate grunts, and I feel my cheeks warm when I catch his raised brows. I don’t feel all that bad about it though. Nicko will be here in about two hours to pick me up for our date; until then, Nate can make as many comments as he likes.
“Is…is that a problem?” I ask hesitantly. I’m not going to let Nate make any decisions for me—though I briefly wonder if Nicko would let himself get talked out of seeing me—but I don’t want this to get messier than it already is.
Nate stares at me, looking me over like he seriously needs to think about this. His shoulders raise, and then his brows furrow.
“I don’t know, man,” he huffs, stemming his hands into his hips.
“What do you mean? It’s not like–”
“I mean I don’t know, Xan! This…youhatedNicko for three years and then what? You kissed him out ofnowhere, when you didn’t even know it washim, then you fuck him, and now you’re going on a date with him? I don’t fucking get it!”
It’s hard, but I swallow down my annoyance along with the urge to correct him.
“I don’t get it either,” I mutter, shaking my head. “I just…” I shrug, unsure what there even is to say. I want to get Nicko out of my head. Want to not think about the way his mouth fits so perfectly against mine before he decides to bite me. And I definitely want to not think about how that stupid gesture makes my heart jump every time.
I also don’t want to feel so stupidly challenged by him. And I wish it wouldn’t make me want to prove him wrong.
“There’s just…somethingabout him that’s…attractive.” That’s the best I can do.
Nate, who’s still looking at me with furrowed brows, has stepped closer. He’s now outright glaring at me in a way that makes me raise my head and straighten my shoulders.
“If this is just…some kind of ploy, to get back at him somehow or–”
