When he stalks out of the room, none of us stop him.
I know he’ll come around eventually. He has to. We’re all he’s got.
Minutes pass, punctured only by Brando’s grunt as he heaves the knife out of the table and goes back to turning it over in his fingers.
Cass takes a deep breath. “I didn’t think I’d ever say this,” he says calmly, “but I’m disappointed in you.”
I cough out a despondent laugh. “You too?”
“Yeah.”
I jerk my chin. “What about you, Bran? Have I disappointed you too? Might as well make it a full fucking house.”
Brando glances sideways at me, his lips twitching into what would be a smile if Brando’s face muscles ever experienced one.
I glide my gaze back to Cass and open my hands. “Well, go on then.”
He breathes again, his brow furrowing. “After everythingother people have put you through, you still didn’t choose yourself.”
I swallow, his words hitting me square in the jugular.
“You knew what you wanted this whole time. And you had a chance with her. She wanted you. Shefellfor you.That’swhat you’ve always wanted, brother. Not revenge.”
It feels like my chest is pressing against my ribs.
“Before that day, before all the nightmares, you used to talk in your sleep.”
I sit up, brightening at the possibility of a memory that doesn’t involve beating, humiliation, grief or sadness.
“I did?”
Cass looks over at me. “Yeah. It used to make me feel safe, like a reminder that I wasn’t alone in the room when it was pitch dark outside. That was the thing that broke my heart the most. When you stopped speaking in your waking hours, you stopped speaking at night too.”
“What… What did I talk about? In my sleep?”
He huffs and shakes his head, a hollow smile teasing at his lips. “Her. Pfeiffer. You only ever talked abouther.”
Brando’s knife stops turning.
My fingers curl around the chair as I try to channel the pain outwards. The agony comes on so suddenly, I don’t know how to process it.
The cruelest thing about regret is it usually arrives with clarity. And pixel by pixel, the picture is getting clearer. I’ve made a colossal mistake. I finally had the girl of my actual dreams and I just let her go. For what?
“Do you remember what I said?”
Cass tips his head and squints at the ceiling.
“No. It was muffled, like your words got all jumbled up. But you always said her name so clearly, and always with a soppy fucking smile on your face.”
I bite into my cheek as the sheer horror of what I’ve done to her and to myself climbs up my throat.
“I never saw her when you were at school together, but when she was here, the way she looked at you, Fiero…”
His breath shakes. “You’re our brother and we’ll always love you. But… none of us are capable of loving you likethat.”
I swallow again and my voice cracks. “Like what?”
“Like the world will end if you don’t love her back.”
